My Punkins and Their Pumpkins....

We made our annual pilgrimage to the Pumpkin Patch this week. I chose to take them after school was over so all the field trip groups were gone and it would be less busy than on the weekend.

It was the perfect day, no crowd, cool temperatures, and tons of fun.

We rode the hay ride out to the pumpkin patch to pick our pumpkins and our boys chose some "unique" specimens.

Now when I was a kid, we had one pumpkin and it was perfect. It was usually pretty large and always perfectly round with no damage on the outside. Then my brother would carve it on Halloween and mom would put a candle inside of it. It was the classic Halloween scene.

Well, our boys didn't pick perfect pumpkins. They were far from perfect.  They were more like pumpkins that would have been characters in the movie "The Breakfast Club" or pumpkins that would have been found on the Island of Misfits in the movie "Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer".

Braden found his first one immediately and he fell in love. It was a "bumpy pumpkin". (they are his favorite kind)

Those bumpy pumpkins are so ugly and this one was lopsided but he loved it so I picked it up and the backside was all scarred up and dented.

I showed the bad side to him but he still loved it. I was about to talk him out of it by telling him that it was yucky and ugly when I stopped myself short because I realized something more important than that dented and scarred ugly pumpkin.

That pumpkin is a lot like Braden. He is perfect and beautiful but when you take his shirt off you see  many scars from 8 years of cancer treatments, multiple surgeries, 4 central lines, bone marrow aspirates, stem cell harvests, and tattoos which were markers from his radiation treatments. 

Those scars tell Braden's story. 

And apparently this pumpkin has a story too.

So we brought it home because it is perfectly imperfect. The fact that he loved it regardless of it's lack of perfection nearly had me in tears.  

There is nothing more beautiful than acceptance and I love his pure and kind heart that looks past imperfections to see beauty.

His second pumpkin, yes I told him only one pumpkin and then I totally caved, was one that he said looked just like a jack o'lantern pumpkin. The problem is that the top was split open a little bit.

I opened my mouth to tell him that it wouldn't last very long and would get yucky soon and we would have to throw it away, but then I stopped.

Again, this is like Braden's story. The doctors have told us more times than we can count that he wasn't going to live and we needed to spend our time well. We chose to fight and to make memories with the time that we were given.

So we have one pumpkin that isn't going to last as long but until then, it's going to be on the front porch with the others proudly displayed.

We walked back through the patch to find Zach. He's a 7th grader and apparently there is an unwritten law that says that you cannot be seen with your mother and little brother in a pumpkin patch so he was far.....far away searching for his pumpkin.

I had not been given the memo about pumpkin patch etiquette prior to the pumpkin patch visit. (I would have still made him come with us though) ;) 

Something about it totally throwing off his street cred??

We found Zach, with the hood of his jacket covering his face so no one would recognize him.

He had two small pumpkins in his hands.

 Yes, once again I said only one pumpkin and then I totally caved. But I was really excited because they looked pretty perfect to me.

I caved because he explained that he found each of them hidden under large pumpkin leaves where no one could find them. He said they wouldn't be seen and no one would choose them so he wanted to bring them home because they should be noticed.

I melted. 

And nearly cried again.

These pumpkins are just like Zach.  Quietly hidden away hoping to be noticed for how special he really is. He's never vocal about it but being the sibling of a kid with cancer is a tough row to hoe. Nearly all the attention is on the child with cancer because you are fighting to save his life. 

It's not fair and we do try to even it out and our friends help try to even it out, but it's the truth. Zach has been hidden just like these pumpkins.

I love this boy's heart and compassion. That's my favorite thing about him.

I thought we had all the orange things we needed but at the checkout stand, Zach found a gourd and wanted to get a small one because he said it was tradition. 

I do not recall this tradition.

We bought the gourd.

That makes 5 pumpkins...when we went for one.

I'm weak.

When we put it on the porch, Zach set it on top of one of his smaller pumpkins because he said it was small so it needed a little perch so it would feel special.

Once again, I teared up.

Zach is not tall. He often gets made fun of because he's one of the shorter kids in his grade level. 

I wish I could change that, I wish people could just be kind about sizes of others. 

And I wish we could all be a little kinder to ourselves about our own sizes too. 

So our "Breakfast Club"/ "Island of Misfits" pumpkins were specially chosen by my punkins and they  have meaning.

None is perfect, each has its own issues and imperfections...

In their simplest of terms they are:

bumpy...

scarred...

broken....

overlooked...

and judged by size...

But, as they said in the Breakfast Club, aren't we all just a little bit of each of those things as well?

What if we could all accept our own imperfections and the imperfections of others as easily as my guys did with these silly pumpkins...

Now that would be perfect.

and then....

It just doesn't seem to end.

We got the results from Braden's bone marrow and got the PERFECT answer..no disease.  WOO HOO!!

What a HUGE relief...or so I thought.

SO...I emailed our team in Philly and they told me that they were doing further testing to see if Braden had a form of pre-leukemia and that would take 2 weeks of wait time for the results to come in.

UGHHHHH!!!!

And damn....I thought we were in the clear.

So we wait, but...there's more...

Seriously.

We go to Philly for scans on July 16-17...scared out of my wits but hopeful. It's entirely possible it could be in his body but not in his marrow so there's another scare.

We know that Braden can't continue the treatment he is on right now because it's either a toxicity or it's not working any longer....awesome.

He's been on that drug for almost 2 years and was supposed to have it for a little over one more year. The irony is that we fought to keep it and now we lost it during the same time frame they were scheduled to take it from us.

I keep thinking that we must have fought for it so that another child (because all the kids taking that drug get to keep it now because of our fight) needed it and it will help him/her.  It had to be for some reason because it was quite a battle with Abbott Labs.

SO....the question is this. IF scans come back clear, he could qualify for a different drug that is being given to children that have neuroblastoma and are in remission.

BUT...his blood counts have to come up within 120 days and if it's longer than a few more weeks, we would have to repeat the bone marrow aspiration for him to qualify AND I haven't had a chance to fully review the data yet....

Well..I've had a chance. I just haven't.

I've been pouting and sulking and worrying....

and detouring!!

There's no rush because he can't qualify right now anyway until those platelets come back up so I'm choosing the later list of things to do. I ROCK at at them ALL!  But...I'm especially good at pouting...

There's a reason.

This new treatment could be done in KC which is nice BUT it means our Philly team won't be in charge of our treatment plan.

I really didn't realize how big of a deal that was to me, but it's HUGE!

Dr. Mosse has been our saving grace and that team has my complete trust...100%.  Okay...97.999%...I'm always skeptical of everything so I need a little room for that. ;)

On the flip side...I give Dr. Neville in KC the same amount of trust...she ROCKS and I absolutely adore her AND believe in her work.

I am literally mourning the potential loss of Dr. Mosse and team as our Principal team.

And at the same time, I'm thrilled to think Dr. Neville could be doing that role...she really is amazing.

So to transition my heart and mind, I'm pouting, sulking, worrying and most importantly...detouring. I need a break. I've been working 24/7 for a whole lot of months and the boys are off school and deserve to have a mommy who plays with them so I'm taking a break..a much needed break....but that break is for multiple reasons, not just about playing, it's also about sulking and pouting and worrying! :)

It's soooo complicated! LOL!!

In the meantime keep those prayers and hope coming in the event that he can qualify for this new treatment so we can really consider it. I just can't wrap my head and heart around hoping for it until it's even a possibility with clear testing results for the pre-leukemia, and clear scans, and....information about this drug that makes us think it's reasonable and helpful.

It's a roller coaster...this entire nearly 6 years of crapfest has been a roller coaster BUT...

we are blessed to get to ride...

The alternative is he is an angel and we don't get to even try.

We are VERY fortunate and that thought never escapes my head and heart.

And it also never escapes my head and heart that this is a REALLY messed up think to have to be grateful for...

cANCER...you suck.

And we will keep fighting you with everything we have...forever.

Keep hoping!!

TAKE THAT cANCER!

TAKE THAT cANCER...

That's the title of my new book...yup...a BOOK!! Unbelievable!

TAKE THAT cANCER...A Mother and Son's Journey to HOPE

Mrs. Schmeller, my high school English teacher is laughing right now. I could never get an "A" on any work I did for her...I'm pretty sure this book wouldn't be an A but it comes from my heart. :)

It's the story of our dual cancer fight, about how you have to fight with your gloves off, and about hope and faith in a God who loves us more than anything.

It's 5 years wrapped up into 110 pages. That was no easy feat...

As you can see...I like to type...words flow...too many words :)

So I had a co-author, her name is Maureen Rank and she was a gem. She helped me get things into a structure so I could feel what I really wanted to share and what really was important. I have thousands of pages of writing over the past five years and every page was important to me.

I'm not good at "thinning" :)

Once she had the format worked out, I could then write and literally feel what I wanted to say. I had no plan...I just wrote from my heart.

Hopefully, the book will give you courage and uplift you. It will probably make you shed a tear or two and I hope you fall over laughing at times too!

I expected to have a book when I was done, but I did not expect for the process to change me and help me grow. It did.

In so many ways, I feel like I have been able to wrap that package up and put it closer to a shelf. I'm not sure it will ever make the shelf...I don't think cancer fights work that way...but it is in a package, with a big bow!

Five years of battling, crying, laughing, detouring, living....

What a blessing to be able to write this book and have a story that is continuing for now!!

BLESSED!!

If you are interested in seeing the book and reading the back cover description please visit www.BradensHope.org and click merchandise. The book is $11.99 and we will ship it out to you right away for $2.00 extra per book.

If you live in Kansas City, you can pick a copy up at Outside The Box Gifts in the Rosanna Shopping Square in Overland Park 11616 Metcalf Avenue (right beside Mardel). You don't have to pay S&H that way AND we will have them for you at the HOPE Walk on June 8 at Frontier Park in Olathe. :)

They are on Amazon but if you purchase them from our website, we get to keep about twice the profit as apparently Amazon likes to have a big old share! :)

I hope you enjoy the book should you purchase one.

It feels so empowering to be able to write this story and put the past 5 years in that box...with the big bow...

TAKE THAT cANCER!! :)

Zachism Saturday...the walk

A couple of nights ago, Zach and I went for a walk after dinner.

After a bit, Zach burped.

I gave him the mom look.

He giggled.

I gave him the mom look a second time.

He toned the giggle down to a smile.

We walked a little further and he burped again.

This time I said, "Zach! That is not okay!"

And he got this indignant look and tone and said,

"Mom, I promise...it's not my fault! It's because of that delicious dinner you made."

Followed by a THIRD burp.

Before I could even say anything he took a deep inhale and said,

"Yup...smells like sloppy joe!  I told you it was dinner!"

Now it was my turn to laugh...

inside my head.

It really WAS funny.

Sometimes being the serious mom is tough to do!

:)

Trade ya'...

I'm going to Disney World!!

Yup...but it's just me, no kids!

Sound like a dream? Or nightmare?  Well...it's not for fun, I'm heading there for a conference about childhood cancer. I'm very excited to get to meet some of my fellow momcologists and hear from some of the best researchers in the world about what's coming on the horizon. It's going to be awesome!

The last time we were in Disney was for Braden's Make A Wish trip in August of 2009. What a wonderful/awful trip.

Wonderful because the boys enjoyed it so very much. Awful because we thought Braden was dying and that everything we did would be a last.  There are no words to describe how blessed we feel that he is still here! Absolutely amazing!  Thank you Lord for the gift of time!

On our trip in 2009, we stayed at the Give Kids The World Village which is an awesome place in itself. One of the things you get is a special pass that admits you to any Disney park that you want to go to and allows you to go first in line, no waiting in the long lines.

We went through the handicapped lane.

The thing that amazed me were the ugly looks and comments from people waiting in line. They were just MAD that we were getting to pass them and zip to the fun part without the long, hot wait.

I mean MAD!

They would give you an evil stare and quietly say nasty comments about us to those near them.

Braden still had his hair, we all looked healthy.

Little did they know what was beneath that appearance. "No known cure", "Less then 10% chance for 5 year survival", that's what we were facing.

I would look back at them and think "I would trade you in a second!" I would be happy to stand in that line for an hour waiting to go on the Dumbo Ride. I really would, if I could reasonably believe that my son would be alive in 6 months.

I would give anything to be in their hot and miserable shoes.

ANYTHING!

Even kiddoes in wheelchairs got ugly looks...are you even kidding me???  Wow!! I was shocked.

And while I wished that they knew our story and weren't so hurtful and awful in their need to judge, condemn, and blame; I also hoped that they would never find out exactly what it's like to be in our shoes.

All the fight was gone from me at that point or I'm sure I would have spoken up. I was in a deep depression and a very sad place at that time. All I wanted to do is hold my son,

and change his fate.

And I could only do one of those two.

Since that time, I've had so many cancer families tell me that they have had similar experiences. Their child gets a special wish or honor and people around them tell them how "lucky they are"!

Lucky?? Really???

No one is lucky to have cancer. ESPECIALLY a child!

Maybe a better word is "deserving". These kids who fight cancer deserve a few breaks...they deserve some kudos, some time to enjoy life, and they deserve to be honored and celebrated.

There are few words to explain what these babies have to go through with cancer treatments.  Devastating, painful, horrific...those fit.

Unfair..that fits too. They should be playing and going to school and having friends over and not wondering if tomorrow they will die.

Their siblings and parents should not have to wonder and worry. It's not right.

Every day of their lives, they will have to wonder. They will wonder if tomorrow is the day it comes back and they have to fight again, and maybe this time they won't make it.

Long line....no "special perks"....I'll take it.

I PRAY for normalcy..for being able to let Braden play soccer and not have to worry that his port will get hit and he will die.  When he had a Hickman I prayed that he could simply take a bath or shower because he couldn't do that for fear he would get it wet. Over a year of sponge baths.

I prayed that we would be able to simply sleep in our beds at night with all four of us in our house.

I prayed for no alarms going off in the middle of the night to change feeds, add another chemo, or give medicine doses.

I prayed for a meal with my family, at a table and not just fast food with plastic forks and styrofoam trays while sitting on the parent couch at the hospital.

I prayed to be able to go outside. Just GO OUTSIDE!  We were in the hospital for weeks at a time and while we could see outside from our window, we couldn't GO outside.

I prayed for boredom and routine.  Oh how I prayed for predictability, and control.

So many wonderful people reach out to help and give children with cancer a reason to smile because they get it. They understand that they should not have to go through what they are enduring.

They CARE.

They LOVE.

And they hold out their hands wide open and fold their kindness around our babies. It's truly one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed.  And the smiles these kids get from those acts...are priceless!

Everything we do with the foundation focuses on giving kids these perks because they deserve it!

So to the precious and vocal ones who don't get it, I feel sorry for you. I truly do because apparently you haven't learned what those that hold their arms wide open have learned:

Selfless and compassionate acts matter!

Thank you to the countless people who have reached their arms out for not only our family, but for any families of children with cancer. Your gracious acts are greatly appreciated.

And, to those strangers who didn't get it...my offer stands...

I'll trade you any day of the week.

ANY day.

Princess Jamie...

When Braden was in treatment, and we were living at the hospital, he met a very special friend.

Her name was Jamie and she was a care assistant in the oncology clinic.  Jamie checked him in each visit (at that point in life, that was twice a week...at least).

Braden was not a very agreeable patient in the beginning. With the autism, everything was super confusing and scary to him.

He would cry and cry and cry.  I call it the childhood cancer cry. He was 3 years old, and even if he was scared and crying, my job was to hold him down while they did whatever procedures they had to do to him.

It sucked as much as you are imagining right now.

Blood pressure checks, weight checks, temperature checks, and height checks doesn't seem like a very big deal to you and me.

BUT...to a 3 year old with autism and tubies and a bald head...it was a HUGE deal.

Until Jamie came into his life.

Jamie didn't have any special education training. She hadn't been taught "how" to work with children with autism.  But we found out that Jamie was a master!

It was innate.  She just got "it" and she made everything right in Braden's world.

He WANTED to go to clinic, because he was going to see his Jamie. When we were at home, she was all he talked about. Braden's love for Jamie was very deep!

Every clinic visit, she would open the door and he would SPRINT into her arms yelling, "JAMIE!".  Every. Single. Visit.

Jamie let Braden push buttons he wasn't supposed to push, he learned to watch the baby on the thermometer to make sure it was working, he got to shoot the cover off the thermometer, he watched the numbers of the "squeeze" (blood pressure machine) to make sure they were going down and he was very quiet and still so he wouldn't scare them.

He had to give her about a hundred hugs.  And when he was inpatient, she used to come visit him on her lunch break. Yup...her lunch break!! AMAZING

Word would get to her if he was having a rough time and she would magically appear.  Her visits resulted in smiles and laughter no matter how sick he felt at the time. She always brightened his day!

Braden still collects the caps from the flushes and heparin tubes. It's his "thing". :)  When Braden was inpatient for transplant, Jamie brought him a whole jar filled with caps. He was more excited about that than I could ever tell you!! His whole face lit up and he squealed with delight!!

I think most kids loved Jamie as much as Braden did, she was a keeper!! ALL of the staff in the oncology clinic at CMH are keepers! We ADORE all of them!! REALLY!!

Braden is a great judge of character. He either really likes you or really just doesn't care if you are around or not. From the first moment he saw Princess Jamie, he loved her!!

Truly and deeply!

Princess Jamie got married and now has two babies. She isn't at clinic anymore because she is taking care of her family, but we have play dates with her occasionally.  He still flips out every time he sees her.

All she did was love him.  That was it.  She just loved him. And in return, he loved her more than any words could ever describe. Princess Jamie got him through his cancer treatments and will always be his first love.

Mom loves her too!!

For me, the lessons I learned from Princess Jamie are to:

love unconditionally,

understand selflessly,

and act with affection and grace every day.

Princess Jamie, we love you!!

Priorities...

Last night, it occurred to me that Zach (our ten year old) really has no idea what our foundation does.

Not quite sure how I missed describing that piece to him! :)

He knows I work all the time, and that I'm gone a lot in the evening, and that I spend tons of time on the computer and on the phone, etc. but he really doesn't know what I'm doing other than "mom's working".

So I talked to him about what we do and about the $100,000 grant we got to give away to a doctor to find treatments for kids with cancer.

And the cynic in him said, "Mom...you realize you can't save all kids with cancer, right?"

Yea...he's 10....and he sounded like a grandpa of 90. :)

I told him a story that I had read in Chicken Soup For The Soul one time, many moons ago, about a man walking along the beach picking up starfish and throwing them back into the ocean.

There were hundreds. A man passed him and asked why he was doing it, there were too many and he couldn't possibly make a difference, he couldn't save them all.

The man threw another into the ocean and said, "Made a difference to THAT one."

I told him I knew I couldn't save every kid with cancer, but I wanted to try to do something to make a difference in some way for a few if not all.

The alternative is to do nothing and just allow children to die from these diseases without even trying. And I can't live with that.

I asked him if he remembered going to Jayden and Harley's funerals. If he remembered looking at their small bodies in their caskets.

He said that he did.

I told him that I didn't ever want any other families to have to put their children in a casket and kiss them goodbye until they meet them in Heaven. That I didn't want any other child to have to die when they should be playing and laughing. 

I told him it wasn't right and it wasn't fair and although I know I can't save every child with cancer, if I can have a hand in making even a small difference for another family, it is worth it to me.

He then asked the tough question, he asks it occasionally.

"Is Braden going to die too?"

I've never lied to him...and I never will.

I told him that I didn't know.

I promised him that I have fought for no child any harder than I fought for Braden and that right now we had Braden doing a medicine that seemed to be working, but I couldn't promise that he wouldn't die from cancer, or anything else for that matter.

I know his little body has had too much treatment and it's all been highly experimental.  We've bought time...how much I don't know.

He asked if the $100,000 we gave away will result in a treatment Braden can get to save his life.  I told him no and then I explained the trial the doctor would be doing and how it was not going to be something that could help Braden but would help hundreds if not thousands of other kids with cancer if the doctor is right.

He thought for a very long time and then I asked him how he felt about me doing all of this foundation business.

He said he thought it was good.  I said, "think it's good?" and he said, "yea...sometimes it's weird though."

I asked how.

And he said, "well, it's weird that you have to work all day and all night and don't have time to play with us. and it's really sad to think that after all of this, Braden could still die. I think it's great it's helping other kids but I wish it could help Braden too."

He's right about the too much working and not enough playing thing. That hit me like a ton of bricks to the face.

There was no comeback on that one. It's 24/7/365. For good reason...Jayden and Harley for starters. 

This job of mine is all consuming. It takes every hour, minute, and thought I have and it is worth it, but I have to find a balance.

Seems I have fallen in to the same trap I thought I had learned to avoid! I used to work nonstop when I was employed!  I've never worked more hours than I'm working now, and I used to work a LOT.  I suppose this is just my "gotta do my best" personality hard at work.

I thought I had learned not to fall into that trap after Braden was diagnosed. But slowly, as Braden has been healthier, I've let it creep in and suck me in to "obsessive mode" again.

And I didn't even realize it until last night!

Dang!!

I think the fact that this work is about trying to save the lives of children, I've put extra emphasis on just working more and more to make a bigger difference.

I have to stop doing that. My kids are still the number one priority and I haven't been treating them like they are.

Dang again!!

Stupid cAncer! Even in trying to fight you, you were winning!

So Zach and I created a plan for balance. He was falling asleep as I asked him how he felt about that plan.

He whispered, "good".

And then said, "I'm proud of you mom. Keep saving starfish!"

I said, "I will buddy, and I will do a better job of keeping my focus on the two most important starfish in the world...you and Braden".

His response was in a whisper again, "I love you mom!"

"I love you too Zach."

Sometimes it takes the wisdom and heart of a ten year old to whack you in the face and remind you of what really matters!

OH....

And cancer...I'm not going to slow down or back down one bit...I'm still coming after you full force!! I'm just going to take some time off in the evenings to love on my boys!

I have my priorities straight again. 

Hey cAncer....Take THAT!!!!  

Thanks for the therapy session Zach!!

Kids do the darndest things...

The other day, I was in a second grade classroom, not my son's...in another district.

The teacher was using what is called an "Assertive Discipline Plan". Individuals earned fake money for following the rules, teams (each table group of kiddoes) earned points the same way. Apparently to turn dollars and points in for privledges and prizes. And they lost the points and money if they had a "oops" moment. Incentive to not have "oops" moments. :)

When one of the kiddoes would get a compliment from the teacher, the teacher would ask if the child would rather have a "dollar" or a team point.  The kids would then choose which one they wanted, and they almost always chose "team point" which always resulted in fist bumps and smiles from their whole team!

One ADORABLE, and quiet, little girl got to make that very choice and she chose,

team point.

YAY!!!

The little freckled, red headed boy across from her smiled and said "thanks" and held his hand up for a high five.

The little girl kind of backed away and shook her head, no.

The little cutie pie was even more insistent now that she give him a high five so he got closer and even more "celebratory"...

She quietly shook her head no.

Odd, I thought. Wonder what the story is there?

And just then, the little boy reached up and...

picked his nose and wiped it under his desk.

Problem solved.

Wise choice little girl!!

Yup...kids do the darndest things! :)

And I giggled for about an hour.

Zachism, College...

This morning, we were all laying in bed together, with the cat, and Zach said that when he went to college, he would not be able to take Indy with him.

I asked him why not and he said, "because I will be at college mom!"

Hmmm...hoping that wasn't foreshadowing of too much time spent partying...and instead was because he was going to be studying. (A mom can hope)

SO..I said that he should do what Shawna's boys did. Shawna was their babysitter while I was working. And as far as the boys are concerned, they are part of their family to this day.  She was AMAZING and we all loved her and her whole family tons!!

I told him that her two oldest smartly lived at home for the first two years of their college education and that would save a lot of money and be fun. (Again, a mom can hope)

He got a really happy face and in a super excited voice said,

"You mean I can live with Shawna??"

The blonde runs strong with that one. :)

So Shawna, be sure to save a room for Zachy, he's moving in in just a few years!!

I wish you well with that!! LOL!!

Camping...

Braden just had scans in Philly...

and he did well and the results continued to show no evidence of disease!!

That is really no small sentence...it is really miraculous!!

Every scan, I hold my breath and pray.

This time, we found a penny early on. Braden was watching cartoons on a television in the airport in Chicago. He walked over, handed picked it up and handed it to me, then went back to cartoons.

I felt so much better!!  If you are confused, check out the "Pennies From Heaven" post I did on January 18. :) http://deliecehofen.blogspot.com/2013_01_18_archive.html

 And then there was the sunset view from our window the night before his scan. I could almost feel our angels smiling! WOW!

Dr. Mosse gave us the great news and we were off to the airport. Happy DAY!!! Nothing really upsets me after a good news day. It's all about perspective...

Seriously!

Nearly every visit since his first clear scan, we've had a problem getting out of Philly. Blizzards, hurricanes, flooding, plane mechanical problems, flight crew not there, you name it.  Almost every single time. We just expect it now! :)

This time did not disappoint.  Our layover was in Chicago.

Just a few minutes before we were to board the plane, they came on to tell us our crew wasn't there yet. As she was speaking they appeared.  Whew!! I figured this one was going to be easy, false alarm!

We boarded the plane and the captain got on the intercom with "news".

He said Chicago was not allowing any flights in or out due to weather.  BUT...he said we could deplane and then just hang out in the terminal close by. 

That sounded GREAT to me!! It was going to be an hour before they had an update.

An hour turned into 2...plus...people were lined up for a LONG distance trying to make arrangements for missed connections, etc.

Braden and I played hide and seek. It was WAY more fun.  That giggle is the best sound EVER!

I figured that if there were problems with getting in and OUT of Chicago, our connecting flight would likely be delayed too and there's an hour difference between Philly and Chicago, so we might make it. And if we didn't...who cares???

I got on my cell phone and sent some texts and my amazing friends had me covered with Zach in about 2 minutes!! I'm SO blessed to know such incredible people!!

Then they came on the intercom and weren't sure we were getting out, so I started looking for rooms in Philly...and two minutes later, we were boarding.

LOL!

We got to Chicago...okay, it was a "tad" bumpy but we've had worse and we were only 15 minutes passed our scheduled departure. The airport was a zoo...complete and total zoo!!

We checked the info to get our gate number and found out our flight had been cancelled.  Oh well. At least we weren't late!! :)  We headed to the gate to rebook.  The moving sidewalks became a challenge for Braden who tried to pass every single person on them...mom was panting like a dog by the time we were done. That boy can move when he wants to! :)

On our way, half of the US Navy along with a whole unit of bagpipers lined the hallway.  We were in a hurry but Braden wanted to watch the "parade".  We watched and walked slowly...nothing was happening yet but they were obviously waiting for something/someone to come off that plane.  I was curious. Hmmm.... But I knew we needed to rebook and if those bagpipes started, Braden would FREAK out!!

The kid with the severe hearing loss due to chemo cannot handle loud noises.  He cries and cries and it's absolutely heartbreaking!! Poor guy...so we zipped fairly quickly.

We made it to our gate, got rebooked, and then tried to get a room but everything was full close to the airport. Our flight was at 6 and it was already about 10:30. Not long...easy peasy!

The lady told us they were setting up cots.  Ugh...but worth a look. Already I was cringing with the thought of all of those germs...MAJOR germaphobe here!!

As we were making our way to the cot area, we saw the navy parade happening, but the bagpipes were gone. I was really curious now. They were escorting a long line of people individually through a corridor of navy sailors.

Hmmm again.

We walked over to watch the parade and realized it was actually an entire plane of WWII veterans they were escorting.  I don't know where from or where to but it was so cool.  MANY passengers were lined up and clapping for the men who were being escorted in wheelchairs (some were walking) as the sailors saluted along the perimeter of their path.  Braden and I clapped for them for about 10 minutes, we tried to leave but he wanted to stay and watch more of the parade. He saluted just like the sailors. It was priceless!!

I had tears. It was just beautiful to see those men waving at the crowd and smiling. They were so very proud and happy.  Just awesome!

After the parade, we did make it to the cots.  They weren't horrible looking, but still...germs!! We picked the only two left that were near an outlet. I put the blankets down over the cot, they were clean and then covered Braden with his penguin blankie from home.

Airport rule #1...he who controls the outlet, rules the airport terminal world!! Especially when there are only 2 in the hallway with the cots. LOL!  Many came after and many coveted my outlet, but alas, it was taken.  So sorry poor friends.... :)

Having staked my claim, I decided to put the blanket on the cot and push the cots together so I would be right beside Braden.  My greatest fear was that he would wake up while I was asleep and he would wander away out of curiosity...looking for that parade again! I knew I would not be sleeping, but I hoped he would.

I stashed everything of value (my phone and the iPad in my backpack at our heads and then squished our cots against it so no one could take them.  That...and we were directly across from the security desk...it was pretty safe!!

If you've ever had the pleasure of sleeping in an airport on a cot...okay admittedly overuse of the word "pleasure"...you already know that they don't dim any lights and they don't put you in an area where people aren't marching through...hey wait a minute...it was an all night parade!! :) Lucky us!  Braden would just close his eyes, and somebody would come through with the vaccuum truck, or trash cans, or security people walkie talkies,  or security people laughing and giggling.

My "favorite" was my fellow stranded passengers who were clearly upset that they were stranded passengers. 

One lady parked it right next to me at about 2 am, she used the f-bomb about 4 times (which I can appreciate except I had an 8 year old with me). I looked at her and gave her the look. She grimaced at me and I pointed to Braden who was now wide awake.  She apologized but kept right on bitching out loud, just stopped with the f-bomb.  I asked her if she could bitch quietly so she wouldn't wake up my son.  She was not amused and changed the bitching to loud sighing.  

I think I preferred the bitching.  

I echoed her sighs each time she let one roar, which annoyed her...and made me giggle.  

Then there was the lady who came in with two adult children and began screaming at the top of her lungs to tell them which cots to take.  Woke him up again. I gave her the look and the daughter cringed.  The mom glared at me. I glared back. I don't think she wanted to try a "glare down contest" because she had them all get their stuff and move to another area.  I didn't realize why until 4:30 am when I finally got to see myself in a mirror.  Yup...I would have been scared too. :)

It was raining so hard!! I mean REALLY hard!! And at 4am, the security people all assembled 10 feet from our cots and had a security team meeting. It was very official.  LOL! They were placed on a higher alert level because of potential flooding.  

I know this because I was pretty much in the meeting.  ;)

I know a lot of other top secret security team meeting information.  I could tell you, but we were all sworn to secrecy. :) Needless to say, my faith in our security systems at the airport dropped a few...a lot...of points!

Three of the security guys were laughing really loudly and saying, "Yup..wake up people, it's your 4 am wake up call! Your security team has a meeting. You can't sleep here anymore." 

Hahahahahahahaha....

Braden woke up, again, and was very groggy and confused.  He had slept about an hour, and on and off due to the noise the remainder of the time. The night before he slept for about 5 hours because I have to keep him up late and get him up early so he will sleep during scans without big sedatives, just IV Benedryl.  

And I hadn't slept at all, and had about 5 hours over 48 hours.

I was not amused by their stupidity and rudeness.  And, again, in my defense 5 hours in two night..total. My filter had slowly disappeared during the night and now Momma Bear was raging.

So it occured to me that I should tell them what I thought about their rudeness and stupidity.  Then I remembered they were security and could keep me from boarding the plane...

and then I remembered I was already in the terminal and I really didn't give a shit because of the filter loss.

SO...I walked the whole ten steps over to them.  And I explained why that particular remark was not amusing. I pointed to my confused and exhausted son who had just had cancer scans.  Braden was in tears because he was tired and in his words, "I'm done...".

The supervisor dude in the fancy suit walked over to see why I was bitching at the three dudes so I explained.  Then walked away.

Then it was HIS turn to give them the look.  

They didn't seem so cocky and amused any more.

I can't tell you what I was thinking...it's top secret. But it involved my first real laugh in hours! 

I gathered up our stuff, Braden, his tigers and his blankie and headed to the gate.  It couldn't be louder or more annoying.

It was still raining REALLY hard and there were lakes of water on the runways and in the grass. I wasn't convinced we were going anywhere, anytime soon.

We did get to board the plane, pretty much everyone on the plane was exhausted BUT at last, we were going home. 

And then the captain came over the intercom.

Oh shit!

He said, "folks...we have some news about our departure."

Every single one of us needed a button, right then.

He told us something, I don't even remember what, but it wasn't that we weren't going to leave.  WHEW!!!

We made it home and all was well. If you ask Braden, he will tell you he had a GREAT time camping!! 

I am not a camper.  :)

That boy loves everything!! 

Got lemons???  Let Braden at 'em!! :)  

TAKE THAT cANCER!!!

Zachism Saturday, "The Prayer"...

When Brian is out of town, the boys both sleep with me in our bed.

The lights were off and it was very dark in the room.

Zach said his prayers and after, we were practicing the Lord's Prayer.

He began on his own with,

"Our art-ther, who fart in Heaven"...

The best part...

He didn't even catch it, he just said, "wait...it's our father who art in Heaven"

Braden, who was next to me, said, "mommy...why are you shaking?"

Silent hysterical laughter will do that to a mom.

Zachism Saturday, The Birthday Sushi..

Zach turned 10 this week! Holy smokes, where does the time go?

I asked him what he wanted for his birthday dinner, expecting him to come up with something I could make at home.

Instead, he said...

SUSHI!! He LOVES sushi!!

Crazy thing is that one of his friends has a birthday on the same day so when I went to lunch at school with Zach, I told his friend HBD too! He said they were going to have sushi for dinner!! 

I almost fell over!

So...we were at the sushi place when we see these eyes pop over the little room we were in and it was another one of Zach's friends coming for...sushi!! :)  Small, sushi filled, world! LOL! I had posted a pic of us in our room on Facebook, and our friends recognized it when they walked in and were able to find us!!

So as the Brian and Zach were eating their Miso Soup (I passed...) Zach got very serious and said,

"Mom...this soup is a lot like you!"

I was worried.

"It's warm, comforting and I love it..."

Awwww...however, Brian and I were looking at each other like "huh?" :) Cute but a little strange...sorta symbolic of our family I guess!! LOL!!

Then he thought for a minute and added, "It's just like this piece of tofu!"

At that point, Brian coughed and nearly spat out his soup! (it was hilarious)

Then Brian said, "I know what's going to be going up on Saturday"

LOL!

Me and tofu...twins baby!! 

(which is incidentally the reason I passed on the soup) :)

Happy Birthday Zach! :)

Brave Knight Braden...

I am posting a very special story that I wrote August 15, 2008. It was after Braden had been in transplant for 3 days...and it already sucked.

Transplant is not fun!! AT ALL!

Our friend, Kori, who is a 17 year old FIGHTER is currently in transplant and I've been thinking about her family and praying for them every single day. She is amazing, but I remember how awful that process really is.

The background on this story is that a few weeks earlier, Dr. Shore asked me to write a story for a contest the hospital was having. He felt like it would be a great way to get kudos for the hem/onc team (and himself). Dr. Shore and I were getting along fine at that point.  

I agreed but just didn't have time to do it. I DID want to try to publically praise our nurses and staff...I love them with my whole heart!! They are AWESOME!!

I remember that Dr. Shore walked into our transplant unit room on August 14 and said, "So...the story is due tomorrow and you haven't turned anything in yet!"

I said, "For someone who wants me to do something for him, you took the wrong tact. How about you turn around, walk out that door, and come back in and try it again?"

He did. :)

He came back in and said, "GOOOOOD morning Mrs. Hofen...I hope you had a restful night and that things are going well. I was wondering if you had considered writing that story yet? WE would really appreciate it, PLEASE!"

The nurses and I fell into fits of laughter.

So late that night after Braden went to sleep, I wrote the story.

I will tell you about Princess Jamie next week...she was Braden's heart! And he STILL adores her even though she is no longer at the hospital. We do have playdates occasionally because we love her so much!  She worked in clinic and they were like two peas in a pod...I mean he LOVED her!!

So this is my post from August 15, 2008...and minus thinking Shore was any sort of an okay person (I no longer think that in any shape of form)...I stand behind every single word I wrote! 

Those people are AMAZING!!! And I love them very much!!

The word limit was 500...I got it knocked down (which you can guess is tough for me) to 499..so at the end I threw in 2 "verys" because it just felt "unfinished" at 499!! :)

Hope you enjoy it!!

Deliece :)

Brave Knight Braden

Once upon a not so long time ago, in a kingdom not so far away, there lived a brave knight named Braden. Braden was one of the most determined and courageous knights in the kingdom as he had faced numerous heath and development challenges during his first 3 years resulting in many visits to Children‘s Mercy Hospital and its clinics. On December 28, at 3 years 3 months of age, he would encounter his most mighty foe, a monster named Cancer.

After tests, doctors told Braden’s family that he had a rare form of cancer called neuroblastoma. His was stage 4 and high risk which resulted only about a 30% chance of survival. Braden was sent to a section in the kingdom called 4-Henson. On this floor, they met the equally determined Dr. Richard Shore and his team of merry gentlewomen, Nancy and Becky. Braden began chemotherapy treatments to try to control this monstrous tumor that had also invaded his bone marrow and right hip. The hope was that five cycles of high dose chemotherapy would shrink the tumor enough that it could be removed with surgery, and then additional therapies would be needed to eliminate all remaining cancer from his body. Braden was told that his battle would last about a year and be challenging at every step.

Braden found a strong support system in this kingdom to help him do battle with this cancer. Friends from around the world were hoping and praying for a victory. Those people became known as Braden’s Army. Some of his most heralded warriors were the nurses and care assistants in the Hem/Onc clinic and on 4 Henson. They were comforting, calming, and caring while helping him fight this vicious enemy.

Along the way, Braden met a beautiful princess who he adored. Her name was Jamie and she met Braden at the clinic with a smile and an innate sense of understanding. Braden also drew great strength from fellow brave knights fighting their personal battles with their own cancer monsters. Their strength inspired Braden and his family to continue to battle even during the darkest of days. And with the help of them all, Braden was successful in his first battle with the monster and was able to have his tumor removed successfully by Dr. Ronald Sharp.

The monster does not give up easily. Neither does Brave Knight Braden. The next battle Braden faces is a bone marrow transplant which is where the story continues today. Braden has fought hard and will continue to do so to win the many battles ahead of him. Braden’s story is one of hope, faith, and great love. And that is how the next chapter in Braden‘s story begins, with hope! The kingdom of mighty warriors at Children‘s Mercy Hospital, Braden’s Army, Braden’s own great bravery and strength, and continual faith and love provide that hope. The hope that this story will end with “and he lived happily ever after…for a very, very long time”!

The Beginning

And this is the video that I made to recap his first year of therapy.... it still makes me cry but it was very healing to put this together! This should be an active link...I hope!

HOPE!

http://www.onetruemedia.com/otm_site/view_shared?p=88100e29b064421be0d1b3

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Zach...

Today is a very special day.

It's Zach's 10th Birthday!!!

I remember April 3, 2003 like it was yesterday. I woke up to Brian video taping waking me up!! :)

His delivery was a planned c-section after Miranda's birth which was an emergency c-section. I didn't want to take ANY chances that normal delivery might cause complications.

I was SO over complications.  Miranda had died on August 1, 2001 and I had a miscarriage in between Miranda and Zach.

We SO wanted a baby!!

So off we went to the hospital, and a little after 12:30, Zachary Dean Hofen was born!

He cried immediately.  And he didn't stop crying, very often! :)

He cried so much that the nurses came in the middle of the night and asked if they could help. LOL!  This child hasn't stopped "talking" since he was born!!

We gave him a pacifier and he was much happier.

It was pure joy!! I didn't want to stop holding him because it was finally here. We finally had a beautiful, healthy baby!!

There were no words to describe the feeling of holding him for the first time. I looked at his face, and I was honestly terrified and completely in love.

I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop...something had to be wrong, it couldn't be that he was fine?

But he was, and as we held him, both Brian and I had tears.  Tears of joy and tears remembering the last time we had been in the c-section operating room when Miranda was born.

We were finally going to be able to take our child home with us rather than leaving the hospital with empty arms!!

And...I had NO idea what I was doing! I'm the youngest in my family and I had only changed a handful of diapers. We had to take a class to learn how to do the "basics".  LOL!!

Brian was the fastest swaddler in the class!! I wasn't one of the top ten!! :)

It's not like I was completely unprepared...

I had a Baby Alive when I was little!! :)

I fed her and gave her a bottle, she pooped and peed....

Okay, I confess, I stopped feeding her and putting water in her bottle because....well, it was gross and smelly and not something I enjoyed.

But I took GREAT care of my Mrs. Beasley doll!!...

I never lost her glasses and I took her for rides in my toy baby carriage all the time!!!

So what if I couldn't swaddle that doll in class!! LOL!

Brian and simply soaked in every minute after he was born. It was total happiness!  After we had so much trouble getting pregnant, then Miranda died, and then we had a miscarriage....3 years of sadness, we finally had a child to bring home and love!! PURE JOY!!!!

Then, a few hours after Zach was born, the lactation nurse came in to try to help me breast feed.

It was not working and I was rolling with the punches and not getting too worked up so she asked me how committed I was to breast feeding.

I told her that I was only going to be able to breast feed for a couple of months before I went back on my medication for my MS.  I had to go back on my meds because I would risk a flare of my MS and Zach couldn't drink my breast milk once I started my shots. Betaseron isn't good for babies.

She disapprovingly looked at me and said something about how that wasn't very committed and how I needed to reconsider my dedication to our son, and then she launched into a whole angry-faced speech about why I needed to better for our son and how good moms do x,y, and z.

She made me feel completely horrible!

I don't often shrink away, but I did at that moment.  I was too crushed and I had no fight to respond with, I was hurt. I held my son closer and averted my eyes from her judgmental stare.

And Brian doesn't get mad very often,

but he did that day.

She left, I had tears, and Brian went down the hallway after her.

I can only imagine how that convo went!! :)

The supervisor came in later and apologized for her.  She never returned, which was wise!

We had so many visitors in to meet Zach and share in our happiness!  It was honestly the best feeling in the world and it was so much fun to share it with all of our friends.  Brian called our families and told them Zach had arrived.

When we came home, our entire yard and house was decorated by our amazing neighbors! It was priceless!! I cannot describe how much our friends are our family...but they truly are just that!

I just can't believe Zach is 10 today.  I know. Every parent says that, but it's TRUE!

When I tucked him in bed last night, I told him to enjoy his last night of single digit sleep because tomorrow, he enters the double digit world and will be there for a really long time...triple digits are next!! :)  He thought about that for a long time and was REALLY excited about this double digit thing.

I just cringe thinking about double digits that end with the word "teen".....oh boy!! "Drive-teen", "Date-teen", "First Kiss teen" "Graduate teen"....ughhhhhhhh!!!

I need a drink!!!

10??  How in the world did the time fly so fast!?

And what an amazing 10 years it has been.

Zach is joyful and kind and just a good kid. I feel VERY blessed to  be his mom. He makes me smile every day and his Zachisms leave me in fits of laughter, although I try for that laughter to be with my "inside voice".

I think he's amazing!!

And I'm a very proud momma!!

Happy Birthday Zacharoonie!!!!

Thumper...

When I was probably about 5 years old, we lived in town... (the orange brick house at 417 S Smokyhill in Oakley, Kansas!

and on Easter morning, we opened the front door to go to church and...

on the front porch, right outside the door, in a box with a lid, was a beautiful white rabbit with big red eyes.

And a note...

the note said it was a gift for ME!

And it was signed, "The Easter Bunny!"

I was SOOOO excited!!

I remember screaming and running around the yard in my hand me down Easter dress that I loved!!

My parents were clearly surprised....

and not as excited.

The conversation the whole way to church was "who did it".

Ummm....duhhh...the Easter Bunny signed the note people....

this is NO mystery!!

Seriously!!

We got through church where the talk the whole time from my parents and their friends was...

who dunnit?

The talk from me was...

"I GOT A BUNNY RABBIT AND I CAN'T WAIT TO GO HOME AND PLAY WITH HIM!!"

And my friends and I decided to name him, Thumper!

My parents were not "pet"people.  We didn't have a dog or cat or anything...I had my horses...

but they didn't live in the house!! LOL

(My mom was a neat freak just like me!!)

We got home and there was a discussion about how we couldn't keep the rabbit.

And...my brother actually rallied to my defense.

Tears worked too...and lots of PLEASEs...and batting of the eyelashes and promises to take care of the bunny and they wouldn't have to do a thing...and ....and....and.... :)

IT worked.

They located a hutch that we could borrow from the post office manager so we picked it up and put Thumper's cage outside in the back yard near the alley.

At least we got to keep him.

I used to hold Thumper for hours...and had a ton of scratches from his nails but man we loved to snuggle...

perhaps it was ME who loved to snuggle...maybe that's why I had those scratches??  LOL!

I remember going to the grocery store with my mom a few times a week to get the lettuce they cut off the heads of lettuce before they displayed them to feed him.  It was free and my best friend's parents owned the grocery store.

We fed him carrots and cleaned the rabbit droppings...oh so many rabbit droppings!! LOL

But one night, several weeks later, Thumper's cage was open and he was missing.

My brother and his friend, Kenny Ray, went out with flashlights to look for him.

They thought I was asleep when they came back in the house and told mom that there was fur and blood everywhere behind Kenny Ray's house...they guessed it was a dog who got the rabbit.

I cried so hard!!! I still can vividly remember that feeling and standing there in the hallway in my nightgown sobbing!!

So quickly the story changed to the fur wasn't white, it was brown so it had been another rabbit and that Thumper escaped and ran away and was living in the field safely.

Whew...that was a close one!!!  ;)  Thank goodness Thumper was safe!

I still cried for days because he was gone even though I knew he was happy living in the field with his new rabbit family where he didn't have to stay in a hutch and he could run free.

No one ever fessed up to bringing Thumper...again..duh...it was the Easter Bunny....eye roll!!

The theory was that it had been Larry Farmer.

If you ever drive down I-70 heading to Oakley, you will see signs for a place called "Prairie Dog Town" with the world's largest prairie dog..over 2,000 pounds!

Tourists stop all the time to see that...and yes, it's cement!!

But there really is a five legged cow (seriously) and other critters Larry caught (including a rattle snake pit).  I'm not kidding...Larry caught almost everything he had on display!!

And they sell hundreds of "Kansas pies" which is a pile of cow manure in a pie box.

Seriously!  People buy the craziest stuff!!!

I'm not sure if Larry had any influence with the Easter Bunny or not, but if he did...thanks Larry!!

And...don't even think about bringing my kids a bunny on Easter...

I now side with my parents!! LOL!!

The Easter Bunny here brought a stuffed bunny...so much easier!!

Happy Easter friends!!!

Zachism Saturday, March 30 2013

Over spring break, while out of town, we went to a PF Changs for dinner.

We all read our fortune cookies to each other.

They were all "wisdom" sayings... like about kindness and love and forgiveness...

Zach thought for a long time and once we were in the car going back to the hotel, he said,

"you know...my school counselor says a lot of the same things those fortunes did...

she must spend a LOT of time at PF Changs!"

Brian and I just agreed.

It was SO much simpler!!

Happy Saturday!

Bubble head...

Bubble head...that's me! :)

For the first time in several years, we went on a little road trip for spring break.  We headed to DesMoines and then up to Minneapolis and had many detours along the way.

The three detours that were the best were:
1. Watching Brian wrestling in a tournament..yes, Brian. He's 46...and did GREAT!

2. Seeing cousins we hadn't seen in MANY years!! Absolutely a perfect evening with the boys playing and the adults enjoying some awesome vino!

and

3. Getting to go visit Miranda's grave (I know it sounds like a strange thing to have as a favorite but I rarely get to visit her gravesite so when I do, it's a highlight!) I love talking about Miranda and each time we visit, Zach asks lots of questions and I get to tell him about her! We put some beautiful white flowers by her grave and blew her lots of kisses in Heaven.

But, the detours were not where the "bubble head" thing comes into play...that happened about 90 minutes after we left.

We took two vehicles because Brian is going back to Minneapolis for work after he goes to the NCAA wrestling championship tournament the rest of the week. 

It was a good thing because we needed the car space with all the stuff we had to pack... :)

When you have a child with autism and cancer, you cannot just go someplace. It is NOT a simple process.

I packed up all of Braden's meds...and my meds....and that was nearly a suitcase in itself. We have to take everything (including a portable nebulizer in the event his asthma flares). There are a LOT of meds for the two of us and I remembered them all!! WAHOO!!

I packed swimsuits and swim shoes for the hotel pool, and the snow stuff like snowboots, snowpants, hats, gloves, and big coats...a blizzard was predicted.  (love snow blizzards...yay!!)

Clothes for all of us...for a week...that was a LOT of clothes because Zach layers his shirts so that was two suitcases. :)

All of my workout stuff...sheesh...shoes, hair ties, my knee brace, my heart monitor watch, my light weights incase the hotel didn't have them....holy moly this healthy thing is a pain in the neck!!

All of Braden's food.  He only eats about 10 things so I have to pack all of his food everytime we go someplace:

Cool Ranch Doritos, Chicken Nuggets (cooked and cut and put into bowls then inside freezer bags and into the cooler), 9 BIG tubs of yogurt (and then we had to buy two more), crackers, and a gallon of milk. It's so much easier to take it with you than to try to find it things at a grocery store...not everyone carries the ONE kind of yogurt Braden eats! :)

And lunch for Brian's tournament (so much better than the stuff at the concession stand)...bread, turkey, peanut butter, apples, crackers, Special K Chips, carrots, and water....and of course plates, silverware, napkins,

and even a trash bag!!

My cereal...girl's gotta be pampered a little!  :)

The big camera to take pictures of Brian wrestling.

Laundry soap (we end up doing laundry all the time...somebody spills something and I like for the swimsuits to be clean before I pack them...I know...I'm a germ nut), fabric softener AND

dish soap and a brush to wash Braden's dishes each day. :)

Braden's backpack of toys...the electronics for the car ride and

his 3 Tigers, Tiger Hat, Color Blankie, and Penguin blankie. We can't go anywhere without those!!

And...Braden's daily cooler with his "gotta have it right now" food stash...in addition to the big cooler with the refrigerator of food inside for the rest of the trip.

Since we now have a cat, we asked one of my besties' daughters to come take care of him. I had everything out and ready to go for him.

And I vacuumed and dusted and cleaned the bathrooms before we left..it stresses me out to come home to a dirty house! :)

My car had been serviced, cleaned inside and out, and it was gassed and ready to roll!!

I packed up the flowers I had purchased back in May (I always get extras during the memorial day sale so I have them for our visits to Miranda's grave during the year).

I had gotten cash and organized my wallet so everything was in a neat row so I could easily find things quickly.

I had even transitioned my purse stuff into a backpack so it was easier to run around places and detour and not have a big purse to carry around all day long...I have to carry Braden's cooler and a purse takes up two hands...I need one to reign in the "B-Man" when he decides to wander! :)

I even had gone to the grocery store so when we got home we would have milk that hadn't expired and some other stuff to hold us over so I wouldn't have to go to the store until Monday when they boys go back to school.

And I did the laundry that was left over and started the dishwasher so I wouldn't have to do those two things when we got home either.

I had it ALL ready to go!! I was so proud of myself!!

We stopped about 90 minutes after leaving KC to grab some lunch and I reached into my backpack to get my wallet...

and THIS is where the "bubble head" thing comes in...

no.wallet.

CRAP!!

When I went to the grocery store the night before, I put the newly organized wallet into my purse and took my purse with me...

I hadn't transitioned it back into the backpack.

No cash,

No credit card,

No ID... (I began praying no one would card me for alcohol because I SERIOUSLY needed some, right then!!)

I texted my friend, Amy, who had her daughter run over to verify that I had indeed left my wallet in my purse. Thank goodness Amy is like a twin...she got it and we both had a GREAT BIG giggle via texting over it!! :)

The report came back that indeed, my wallet was in my purse.

Brian said it was better that it was there than lost! :)  Smart ass!!

SO...I had to borrow money from Brian and he gave me a credit card for gas on the way home.

And after it took me 2.5 hours to put everything away in the house, I finally looked for my wallet. It was right there...just like I had left it when I went to the store.

AWESOME!! LOL!!

SO I'm a bubble head...the ONE thing I forgot was my wallet.

DUHHHH!!!!!!!

It was still a great detour....bubble head or no bubble head,

I put in some pics from some of our detours below...hope you all had a great spring break too!!

:)