Bubble head...

Bubble head...that's me! :)

For the first time in several years, we went on a little road trip for spring break.  We headed to DesMoines and then up to Minneapolis and had many detours along the way.

The three detours that were the best were:
1. Watching Brian wrestling in a tournament..yes, Brian. He's 46...and did GREAT!

2. Seeing cousins we hadn't seen in MANY years!! Absolutely a perfect evening with the boys playing and the adults enjoying some awesome vino!

and

3. Getting to go visit Miranda's grave (I know it sounds like a strange thing to have as a favorite but I rarely get to visit her gravesite so when I do, it's a highlight!) I love talking about Miranda and each time we visit, Zach asks lots of questions and I get to tell him about her! We put some beautiful white flowers by her grave and blew her lots of kisses in Heaven.

But, the detours were not where the "bubble head" thing comes into play...that happened about 90 minutes after we left.

We took two vehicles because Brian is going back to Minneapolis for work after he goes to the NCAA wrestling championship tournament the rest of the week. 

It was a good thing because we needed the car space with all the stuff we had to pack... :)

When you have a child with autism and cancer, you cannot just go someplace. It is NOT a simple process.

I packed up all of Braden's meds...and my meds....and that was nearly a suitcase in itself. We have to take everything (including a portable nebulizer in the event his asthma flares). There are a LOT of meds for the two of us and I remembered them all!! WAHOO!!

I packed swimsuits and swim shoes for the hotel pool, and the snow stuff like snowboots, snowpants, hats, gloves, and big coats...a blizzard was predicted.  (love snow blizzards...yay!!)

Clothes for all of us...for a week...that was a LOT of clothes because Zach layers his shirts so that was two suitcases. :)

All of my workout stuff...sheesh...shoes, hair ties, my knee brace, my heart monitor watch, my light weights incase the hotel didn't have them....holy moly this healthy thing is a pain in the neck!!

All of Braden's food.  He only eats about 10 things so I have to pack all of his food everytime we go someplace:

Cool Ranch Doritos, Chicken Nuggets (cooked and cut and put into bowls then inside freezer bags and into the cooler), 9 BIG tubs of yogurt (and then we had to buy two more), crackers, and a gallon of milk. It's so much easier to take it with you than to try to find it things at a grocery store...not everyone carries the ONE kind of yogurt Braden eats! :)

And lunch for Brian's tournament (so much better than the stuff at the concession stand)...bread, turkey, peanut butter, apples, crackers, Special K Chips, carrots, and water....and of course plates, silverware, napkins,

and even a trash bag!!

My cereal...girl's gotta be pampered a little!  :)

The big camera to take pictures of Brian wrestling.

Laundry soap (we end up doing laundry all the time...somebody spills something and I like for the swimsuits to be clean before I pack them...I know...I'm a germ nut), fabric softener AND

dish soap and a brush to wash Braden's dishes each day. :)

Braden's backpack of toys...the electronics for the car ride and

his 3 Tigers, Tiger Hat, Color Blankie, and Penguin blankie. We can't go anywhere without those!!

And...Braden's daily cooler with his "gotta have it right now" food stash...in addition to the big cooler with the refrigerator of food inside for the rest of the trip.

Since we now have a cat, we asked one of my besties' daughters to come take care of him. I had everything out and ready to go for him.

And I vacuumed and dusted and cleaned the bathrooms before we left..it stresses me out to come home to a dirty house! :)

My car had been serviced, cleaned inside and out, and it was gassed and ready to roll!!

I packed up the flowers I had purchased back in May (I always get extras during the memorial day sale so I have them for our visits to Miranda's grave during the year).

I had gotten cash and organized my wallet so everything was in a neat row so I could easily find things quickly.

I had even transitioned my purse stuff into a backpack so it was easier to run around places and detour and not have a big purse to carry around all day long...I have to carry Braden's cooler and a purse takes up two hands...I need one to reign in the "B-Man" when he decides to wander! :)

I even had gone to the grocery store so when we got home we would have milk that hadn't expired and some other stuff to hold us over so I wouldn't have to go to the store until Monday when they boys go back to school.

And I did the laundry that was left over and started the dishwasher so I wouldn't have to do those two things when we got home either.

I had it ALL ready to go!! I was so proud of myself!!

We stopped about 90 minutes after leaving KC to grab some lunch and I reached into my backpack to get my wallet...

and THIS is where the "bubble head" thing comes in...

no.wallet.

CRAP!!

When I went to the grocery store the night before, I put the newly organized wallet into my purse and took my purse with me...

I hadn't transitioned it back into the backpack.

No cash,

No credit card,

No ID... (I began praying no one would card me for alcohol because I SERIOUSLY needed some, right then!!)

I texted my friend, Amy, who had her daughter run over to verify that I had indeed left my wallet in my purse. Thank goodness Amy is like a twin...she got it and we both had a GREAT BIG giggle via texting over it!! :)

The report came back that indeed, my wallet was in my purse.

Brian said it was better that it was there than lost! :)  Smart ass!!

SO...I had to borrow money from Brian and he gave me a credit card for gas on the way home.

And after it took me 2.5 hours to put everything away in the house, I finally looked for my wallet. It was right there...just like I had left it when I went to the store.

AWESOME!! LOL!!

SO I'm a bubble head...the ONE thing I forgot was my wallet.

DUHHHH!!!!!!!

It was still a great detour....bubble head or no bubble head,

I put in some pics from some of our detours below...hope you all had a great spring break too!!

:)

Dr. Jekyl and Momma Hyde...

In January or February of 2011, (I honestly can't remember which) as I sat in my breast surgeon's office listening to her tell me about the pathology and histology of my breast cancer, my jaw was on the floor.

She said she knew it was overwhelming and asked if I was okay.

I said no.

My loves!

But not for the reason she thought...I was in shock...again, not for the reason she thought.

I had stage II invasive ductal carcinoma...fortunately, a type of breast cancer that there is a lot known about and there are a lot of options for treatments.

This was at the same time Braden was at the end of his options...

She was telling me that my cancer was this and that and because of this and that they could do these and those treatments that were effective for MY cancer's pathology and histology, specifically!

I was pissed.

Period.

In three years, we had searched for information about neuroblastoma, but it didn't exist because scientists don't have money to do the research for childhood cancer.

I didn't care if I lived, I wanted my SON to live...and I had 87% odds, he had less than 10%.

Just think about that for a minute.  What if you were in the same position with your child??

I don't know any parent who wouldn't give their life for their child's.

I wanted nothing more than to give the hope I was getting to him....

and I couldn't.

I felt helpless.

And mad.

That was the moment we decided to start a foundation to change that.

Well...one of the treatments, because of the specific indicators of my cancer, was that I elected to have an ovarectomy and start taking medication to shut down all of the hormones in my body.

My cancer is highly receptive to hormones...meaning they feed the beast, so we eliminate them and I have a better chance of not having to hassle with this again...and be able to be there for Braden and Zach!

He went first...made it easier to lose mine! :)

I started Tamoxofen not long after the conclusion of my chemo.

It threw me into "the change"...you know.."THE change"....

I had heard about menopause, and it's "gifts".

Rumors of hot flashes and night sweats...and more,

But I was tough...it wasn't going to be anything for me!

Whoa buddy...was I wrong!! :)

Hot flashes are a lot like someone having a voodoo doll of you...

and at random intervals, that person thrusts the head of said voodoo doll into...

a blast furnace.

Not kidding.

This sickening feeling of being thrown into a 1500 degree oven overtakes your entire body.

My hot flashes don't last that long...seconds to a few minutes...but I have like 60 a day,

yes, I counted them once.

And you NEVER know when they are going to hit...and they come with an additional bonus...

the urge to rip someone's head off and roll it down the street,

just for sport!  (tee hee hee)  LOL!

Kidding....

sort of. :)

The other day, I had just gone through the Starbucks drive thru...I don't drink coffee but I love their hot chocolate

(I know...it's messed up). :)

I started driving down the road and one hit..so I peeled off my coat...

That wasn't enough,

by a long shot...

SO I was about to roll down the window...but it was about 20 degrees outside, and I KNEW people would be staring at the blonde woman with her head hanging out the window like a dog headed to the dog park! :)

(But I REFUSE to wag my tail....girl's gotta have her limits!)

So, I elected to turn on the AC full blast.

And there I was driving down the road, AC blasting full force, sweating like I had just run a marathon.

I was pretty sure that every person at the stoplights was staring at me wondering why the chick in the white vehicle was panting and fanning... :)

Pretty, Hott...whichever!

...sing along,

"I felt pretty...oh so pretty...!"

Then there's the night sweats,

you wake up in your very own private swimming pool,

so you fling off the covers,

and two seconds later you are freezing... so you grab the covers...

only to repeat 400 times per night! :)

AWESOME!! :)

And then there's the "mood swings".  My husband is never sure who is going to be home when he gets here...Dr. Jekyl or Momma Hyde...

I'll be cooking dinner...la dee da dee da...

and one hits and suddenly, my entire attitude changes...

and I have a knife in my hand... (snicker, snicker)

be afraid,

be VERY afraid... LOL!!!

No task is without it's precious moments,

I will be blow drying my hair and am standing there with a gallon of sweat running down my face so I can't put my makeup on just yet....the next action (to cool my face off before the make up thing) is based on what season it is:

Winter...run to the window and fling it open for a minute, or two.

Summer...run to the freezer and fling it open for a minute, or two.

Seriously!! :)

And as much as I laugh about all this "stuff", I am blessed and fortunate that I have a kind of cancer that allows me to have something I can do to help prevent it from coming back.

And I DO feel blessed!!

I've switched over to Arimidex and it's better since then...no more night sweats and crazy mood swings but the hot flashes remain the same!

(not sure Brian would agree about those mood swings though!!) :)

Some days you just have to laugh!!! 

Hope you did too!



Look closely by my lips...I have always believed that was Miranda giving me a kiss for my birthday! My 3 kids!

Saturday....Zachism day....

Zach is 9 and says the funniest stuff!!

And he doesn't mean to...

He's blonde like his mom!! LOL!!

Laughter is the best medicine and kids DO say the darndest things!!

Each Saturday, I'll share a "Zachism" with you to start your weekend with a grin (hopefully).

This one is an oldie, but a goodie and still makes me chuckle.

I shared it with the comedian, Sinbad, who cracked up.

Sinbad has been an advocate for our kids with cancer, GREAT guy!!

So here's our first Zachism:

When Zach was 4 and Braden was 3, we were early into this cancer mess. 

We told him we had to take Braden back to the hospital as a family the next day to get a "cat scan".

He shook his head and said, "man, he gets a lot of those".

He thought for a bit and said, "but when can he have a DOG scan?"

LOL!!

TAKE THAT cANCER!!!

Happy Saturday!!

Girl Meets Boy...

This crazy kitty has reduced my 200 pound, "manly man" husband into

a baby-talking marshmallow!

It's adorable!!  He will frown at me for saying that, but it is.

This morning, Braden was eating his chicken (yes, chicken nuggets for breakfast...it's a protein and calories...you do what you can do when your child has autism AND is taking chemo).

(yes, he's officially showing no evidence of disease on his scans, and yes he is still doing chemo...I'll explain that one another day.)

He was watching a movie on a portable DVD player and the kitty smelled the chicken.

Indy thought it smelled pretty good so he went over to stick his nose in it and get a whiff, hoping to snag a piece I'm sure!

Braden started giggling and said, "No kitty, dat's MY chicken!"

to which Brian whined, "No kitty, that's MYYYY pot piiiiie!"

If you get that, I know what "cartoon" you've been watching!! ;)

I cracked up.

But, I laughed harder yesterday morning when I wrote "vet" on a "to-do note" so I would remember to schedule Indy's first vet appointment (with our former next door neighbor Dr. Pelfrey at Stanley Vet Clinic...he's AWESOME and no, that wasn't a paid advertisement, just the truth!!).

I looked at the note a little later in the morning (almost shocked to see it lying on the counter...I had forgotten all about it five minutes after I wrote it),

btw, this is why I write myself notes. 

I'm the same person who used to have to take a sticky note with my destination written on it with me in the hall at school when I was a Principal because I would get stopped so many times, I would forget where I was going and have to come back to the office with my head hanging and ask the secretaries where I was headed!

I digress...

that'll happen a lot in this blog! :)

SO I looked at the note, and noticed Brian had added letters to it.

Now it said, "Corvette".

I busted out laughing.

This is why I love him so much...he's funny and witty and clever!!

I'm one lucky girl...

Most days!

So how in the world did we meet??

It's simple...all I had to do is buy a house!

I had won a teaching award that came with a $25,000 check...AWESOME!

And I had just moved to Kansas City from a small town in Central Kansas called Hays...LOVE that town!!

I had just been hired to be the Assistant Principal at a middle school (I was only there for a year and then accepted a job as Principal at an elementary school after that).  I loved the middle school kids---they are hilarious!! And I loved the elementary school kids--they are sweet!!!

I had a down payment and I wanted to buy a house that would be my very own!!  I had been divorced for a little over a year and was ready to independently nest! 

Oh...and I had SWORN OFF MEN!!!

I'd dated...the pool was shallow...and frankly, I was over the experience!!

(insert eye roll and sigh...two sighs...and another eye roll)

A very dear friend and I drove all over Kansas City with a realtor looking at houses and I could never find "the one". 

We looked at MANY houses.

After we looked at another one, we pulled to the end of the cul-de-sac to turn around and saw an unfinished house with a for sale sign that looked promising from the outside. 

Unplanned, unforseen....spur of the moment decision....we stopped and went inside.

and I LOVED the floorplan but it was just at a drywall stage.

We called the builder, Larry Lochner, and he told us there was a finished version across the street so we could see what it looked like when it had paint and finished floors.

So, we met the homeowner the next day and walked through his house.  I LOVED the house even more....

And...I noticed the owner...cute guy, and I was guessing he was single by the stereo on boxes that made up his stereo cabinet and vacuum cleaner in the middle of the living room.

And when we walked out of the house, I told my realtor, "Cute neighbor guy...buy that house!!"

And I did.

The cute neighbor guy was Brian and the builder was one of his best friends, Larry. 

I met the rest of the neighbors immediately and loved them...they were all awesome!!

Brian knocked on my door a day after I moved in to say hello (I had said hello to him outside SEVERAL times) and asked if he could do anything to help.

I had already hauled the boxes to the basement, the pictures were on the wall, everything was set up and looking great...nesting had occured...

but I needed to think of SOMETHING so he would come in and I could talk to him some more....okay, the possibility of flirting had crossed my mind!

SO,  I thought quickly...

It was the end of June in Kansas...

I told him that the upstairs of the house was too warm and I needed to adjust the damper on my AC, but I didn't know where it was...and that was true.  I knew that was what needed to be done, but I didn't have a CLUE how to do it.

He helped me fix it and we got to chat a little...and he got to see my obsessive need for organization and neatness from the very first moments. 

He was shocked and surprised my house was decorated already!

No stereo on boxes for this girl!!!

Well, we saw each other across the cul-de-sac and waved hello several times when FINALLY, five days after I moved in, I went out to run (I was running a LOT at that time in my life) and ALL of the neighbors were sitting at the end of someone's driveway drinking beer.

AWESOME!!! 

I KNEW this was THE neighborhood!!

So I went for my run and when I got home, they were still there so I did the only neighborly, logical thing...

I stopped and drank beer!

It got late...so we moved inside one of the neighbor's houses...

It got later, and the homeowners wanted to go to sleep (unplanned, party lightweights) so the remaining bunch of us did the only logical thing...

Moved to another neighbor's house.

And we danced and laughed and had a couple beers (okay, okay...three beers... give or take a few cases...) until it was...

6:00 AM.

THIS NEIGHBORHOOD ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At that point, we all went home and a little later, Brian called me and asked if I wanted to go to lunch.

Of course I said yes, and this time I KNEW I wanted to flirt. :)

We had lunch at a bar and grill and he explained what he did for a living using the sugars, salt, and pepper.

Seriously! 

I got a good giggle and I've been laughing since then...

Well, most days. ;)

It's our very own version of a fairytale...once upon a time, I bought a house....

and got a baby-talking, marshamallow husband!

Luckiest girl in the world...

In fact, Brian and I wrote our own wedding vows to each other and I turned this story into a "FairyTale" format.  I had my step-mom bring me a book I had scrapbooked, and I threw open the first page and read, "Once Upon A Time..."

Brian in his smart ass way, rolls up his tux sleeve and looks at his watch like "how long is THIS going to take..."

And I said, "Relax, You've got time!!!"

Even the Preacher laughed...

but no one laughed harder than when I finished.

Brian took a hanky out of his tux pocket and wiped his brow, paused and said....

"When we talked about these vows.....I remember asking you REPEATEDLY...how long were yours?"

The church (and the poor Preacher) ERUPTED into fits of laughter.

And so it began...

We just thought "happily ever after" would have less "crapfest" mixed into it....

And this story is just another reason this blog has the title it has...

you can't make this stuff UP!!

Seriously, this is my life!!!

 

Detours...

Websters defines detours as..

Okay...be honest, how many of us started at LEAST one high school or college paper that way??

I did. :)

And my High School English teacher was not amused.

Sorry Mrs. Schmeller!

Upon further review...she was not amused by anything. :)

The dictionary reference is probably a bad idea in 2013 since

they are apparently archaic now.

But, I can totally picture ours at my house when I was growing up.

It sat on the shelf right beside our circa 1965 set of World Book Encyclopedias,

that I'm pretty sure a door to door salesman convinced my mom we HAD to have if her children stood any chance of being educated and well rounded!

And I'm too lazy to do it the 2013 way and  pull up another browser to see what Wikipedia has to say...

So I'll do what the "everybody does", make my own up and post it on the internet,

then it must be factually true! ;)

Actually, let me just explain what happened to start the whole "detour" thing...

When Braden was fighting his first battle with neuroblastoma, all of his chemo was "high dose" and had to be given to him inpatient.

Basically, we lived at the hospital for about a year and a half.  We RARELY came home and when we did, it was only hours or a couple of days before he spiked a fever or the next round, or surgery, or about one out of a million other things that required us to go back and spend more days at the hospital.

We learned quickly that even if you finished chemo at 11:00 at night and the doc said you could go home or spend the night at the hospital and leave in the morning,

you chose HOME!

and slept in a bed...

I always slept in Braden's little itty bitty hospital bed with him because he wouldn't let me get far away. He had to be touching me the entire time.  Every minute of every day. It was actually really sweet!

I had to call the nurses to sit with him when I had to pee because he couldn't stand for me to leave and he would cry and cry while I was in the bathroom. Brian used to have to come up to the hospital to sit with him so I could take a shower every 100th day or so! ;)

Well...one of those nights, we left the hospital late and as Braden and I were pulling out of the hospital, we were met by a detour sign.

I wasn't happy to see it. 

It was late at night, I was tired, stinky, wrinkly, and had a son in the back seat with his feeding tube running with a limited amount of feeds to flow through with a limited battery pack and Braden was equally tired...although less stinky and wrinkly.

A detour would mean the long way around something and that would take more time.

UGHHHHHH!!!!

We followed the detour,

and it took us past an historical part of Kansas City called Crown Center.

It is filled with lights and water features.

As soon as Braden spied it, he squealed, "PRETTY WATER!"

(he has a thing for water features...it's pretty much his favorite thing in the world)

Then he yelled, "WIGHTS"!

(he has a little l/w speech thing) :)

And he was clapping his hands and screaming and laughing REALLY hard!!

Well...no one was around, I didn't see any police cars so I flipped a u-turn in the middle of this usually very busy street.

He continued to laugh and scream and clap,

except now it was even louder and happier!

SO...

I turned another u-turn

by now, I was laughing, crying, clapping and turning around to talk to Braden in the backseat.

We did a "few" u-turns...maybe 6 or 7...

or more...

maybe a LOT more...

He was sooooo happy...not many things made him laugh that hard at that time in his life...

And it was wonderful until...

I saw something move out of the corner of my eye.

I looked in that direction and saw...

a bus stop...

filled with people waiting for the bus.

When I made eye contact with them, they quickly looked away!

Whoops!!

Not as alone as I thought we were! :)

I think they were a little scared of the blonde lady in the white SUV who was spinning circles and laughing, crying and talking to the back seat...

And that is how "detours" began for us.

You never know what wonderful things can happen,

How much joy and happiness you can find,

by taking an unexpected turn (even if you weren't really looking forward to that turn).

We try to do at least ONE simple thing every day that is a detour....something to just make us laugh and giggle and enjoy our time together.

Some days it's a trip to the park,

Others popcorn and a movie at home,

family game night,

reading books together (currently it's Horton Halfpot--awesome book),

eating dessert before dinner,

the best detours are free!!

Last week, I had lunch with my friend, Christine, (that was a detour for both of us...we rarely get to spend time together!).

After lunch, I was taking her home and we realized we we had just pulled up behind another friend.

We hadn't seen her for awhile and we were excited!!

So I honked and we waved. 

Then while at a looooong stoplight, our friend sent a text to Christine that said, "Chinese fire drill?"

Never throw down a challenge to be silly....

I'm all OVER it!!

And this friend would be JUST the person to reciprocate!

SO, at the next stoplight, I threw my car into park and SPRINTED up to her car,

She opened the door and almost got out,

but we were laughing so hard and we didn't have that much time,

so, between laughs, we just gave each other a high five and blew kisses!

Then I sprinted back to my car.

Just in time to throw it in drive and make the green light...

Okay, maybe I was a "little" late for that light, but it was worth it!

We got many strange looks.

That happens to me a lot.

We're early into this blog thing, but that was probably apparent long ago. :)

Life should be filled with impromptu, silly moments,

those are detours!

Even when you are a 47 year old mom!

For me, it's what makes life worth living,

because it is living life!

Tada...detours,

definied ala Deliece.

Somehow, I don't think Webster would have the same definition. :)

Need a New Year's Resolution...

try a detour-a-day.

Free,

you can still eat chocolate,

drink wine,

and you don't have to go to the gym!

Again...Tada!!!

(oh and I have been working to try to figure this whole blog thing out and I added several really awesome links to the right). The top one is a story by JiaoJiao Shen from Kansas City's NBC Action 41 News. She is an AMAZING advocate for our children with cancer and she did a beautiful story that really sums up 5 years in 3 minutes.  You will laugh...guaranteed...my boy has SKILLS! (you'll know what I mean when you watch it)!

Hugs!

3 Year "Breast-aversary"

Normally, cancer people use the term "cAncerversary" (remember I won't capitalize cancer because it's not important enough).

But...I like "breast-aversary" much better! :)

That way the "c" word doesn't even get mentioned!!

My breasts get the credit...

And I giggle. :)

TAKE THAT cANCER!

Three years ago on January 6, I found the lump in my right breast.

I have always done self exams and my yearly mammograms.

My mom died from brain cancer, my dad had prostate cancer, my mother-in-law had breast cancer, my father-in-law has fought kidney cancer, my brother in law died from bone cancer, and then there's my son.

He's been fighting Stage IV, High Risk Neuroblastoma since he was 3.

I had to leave my career because his treatments were 24/7/365 and we pretty much lived at the hospital.

He had a 30% chance for survival when he was diagnosed on December 28, 2007.

Then on August 11, 2009, his cancer relapsed and we were told there was no known cure.  Less than a 10% chance he would survive for 5 years.

Less then 10%...that's the same odds our daughter Miranda Grace had that she would survive when she was born on August 1, 2001.

She had hypoplastic lungs and she lived for 15 hours,

and then she died in my arms.

Unfortunately, we KNOW what less than 10% means.

We elected to try experimental treatments to try to prolong Braden's life...we began getting treatments at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia with Dr. Yael Mosse...

She's amazing...

And she gave us HOPE!

As of January, 2010, Braden had already undergone one MIBG therapy in October 2009 (liquid radiation that is injected into his body...he had to stay in a lead lined room, between lead shields, no one could touch him until his radiation level declined enough which took over a week...)

We could only have limited time in his room (with a dosimeter to measure our own radiation exposure)...

Yet...

It was injected INTO him....

Think about that for a minute.

The decisions we have faced for Braden's therapy have been and continue to be impossible.

He was one of only THREE children in the WORLD who would receive this particular type of experimental MIBG isotope in a Phase One Trial...

Phase One Trials are not conducted to see if the treatment works,

Just to see if it is "safe".

Not the type of trial you want to have to do...

But...

We had nothing else and because he was facing "no known cure"...

Doing something no one else had ever done, seemed fairly logical.

SCARY, but logical...

And just another in a long line of impossible decisions we have had to make.

As of  January 6, 2010, we were heading back to Philly in just FOUR days for a second therapy because the first one had knocked all of the disease out expect for the disease in his liver.

We hoped it would knock that out too.

So on January 6, 2010, we were playing together, wrestling on the bed, giggling, and having fun when...

Braden accidentally whacked me on the side of my right breast.

I rolled over and grabbed the side of my breast right under my armpit and felt a HUGE, hard lump.

I got up, went to the bathroom and did a self exam.

I knew.

I knew what it was right then.

My son was facing almost certain death and now I felt a lump.

DAMN IT!!

I didn't have time for this...

I need to be with my SON...to help him fight.

I didn't have time for surgeries and chemo and radiation and appointments and the yada yada yada yada...that I knew was coming.

I was not sad.

I was not scared.

Not even for one second.

I was PISSED!

I went to see my OBGYN the next afternoon and when she felt it she said, "it might not be...we don't know yet but I can get you in right now to have it imaged and we can find out before you leave."

I just laughed.

She laughed too...she had been with me through every step of the past 10 years of the crapfest called my life.

I told her that she had been through everything with us and she knew better... :)

She didn't bother to pretend...

It was cancer and we both knew it.

And it would WAIT until we got home from Philly and Braden's therapy.

We would deal with it then.

I knew that no matter WHAT...

I would take the most aggressive treatment path possible.

SO...

When my breast surgeon gave me my diagnosis (following weeks of imaging, biopsies, etc)

I asked her to not only take my right breast off, but to do a bilateral mastectomy.

Cut both girls off...

After all...

They were trying to kill me!!!!

The night before my surgery, I looked down at them and said,

"Okay girls...tomorrow is a BIG day for us...

I'm going to cut you off because you are trying to kill me"

And the girls said...

...nothing....

Boobs are stupid!

I honestly don't think that losing both of my breasts that drooped to my belt...

and replacing them with a glorious set of perfectly matched, perky boobies that don't require a bra...

was a a really horrible thing.

Sure...I can't feel anything on my chest

Or the back of my arms...

BUT...

I will be 90 years old...

Bent over my walker...

and the girls will be standing straight and tall

Saying, "Go ahead Deliece...

lay down and take a nap...

We'll stay RIGHT here....

Standing up straight and tall..

We will NEVER lay down!"....   :)

LOL!!

Three years later I am:

Feeling GREAT,

Have perky boobies,

LONG, THICK hair,

And I am happy!!

OVER THE MOON HAPPY...

Because against ALL odds,

 my son is here too!!

And THAT is ALL that matters!!!

TAKE THAT cANCER!!!

Top Five

Remember the Friends Episode where Ross made his Top Ten list and laminated it?

You know...THE Top Ten List... LOL!

You know..THAT kind of Top Ten List!!??!!

Well, my top five is a little different (for now..someday I'll do a top five like that one..tee hee).

The other day, while traveling in the family truckster for 18 hours (one way) to Arizona from Kansas City to visit my in-laws, my hubby, Brian said,

"You know how people always ask if you could have dinner with anyone in the world you wanted to meet who would it be?"

SEE...I told you it wasn't THAT kind of top ten list!! :)

He said he thought Tina Fey would be a great person to meet!!

I agree...she is smart and funny and would have many witty things to talk about!!

SO...I started thinking..who would my top five "if I could have DINNER with anyone in the world I wanted to" would be.

And here they are... :)

#5. President Obama

...first of all, way cool to meet the PONTUS. 

Regardless of all politics...

AND...

I have a few things I would like to share...

About funding and awareness of childhood cancer.

And what we could do about that to even the playing field so my son and his friends don't have to face death.

To start.

We would likely cover other topics as well!! LOL!!

#4 Alex Guarnaschelli

(yup...from the Food Network and now the next Iron Chef)

Why?  Well...I'm a huge foodie..love to cook and think she is amazing in the kitchen.

But...she is also a VERY strong personality and a fighter. 

She is opinionated and makes no  excuses for her opinions while she shares them freely.

But she is never unkind and has a heart.

I LOVE that!!

The conversation would never stop, and we would both share our opinions freely (I love women with balls)

...and then we would get ticked at each other and eventually laugh it off while thinking the other was sooo wrong and we were soo right!! 

I enjoy conversations and people that present challenges and are not afraid of disagreement!

No one ever did anything great with "Group Think"!

#3  Jon Stewart

It's a take-off from Brian's "Tina Fey" idea...I think he's brilliant and smart and witty and fascinating. 

There would never be a dull moment...I would laugh the whole night.

#2 Stephon

Yes...Bill Hader's character from SNL.

Seriously.

I LOVE Stephon...he cracks me UPPPPPPPP!!

#1 Channing Tatum

No...it's not that kind of top ten but....

He is hot.

Period.

There would be no touching...

I'm married, he's married,

and his beautiful wife is expecting a baby.

I respect that.

BUT...

I would turn the dance music on and say,

"shhhh baby...don't speak...

just dance"

Ohhhh yeaaaaaa!!!!

Top Five!!!

LOL!!