Vanity...

I'm not a girlie girl.

I'm a country girl who grew up shoveling horse manure and shooting my Daisy bb gun. :)

Occasionally, I like to get my "girl on" and dress up, do my hair and make up, but

the majority of the time, I'm most comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans, with my hair pulled back in a barrette.

SO when the ladies from the Art Bra Gala called...

and asked me to be one of their breast cancer survivor models,

(and let's pause here and discuss what that means...makeup, fancy hair, and me wearing a BRA modeling while walking down a runway)...

I said no.

Initially.

And then this sweet lady went into her pitch and dangit...

it's SUCH a great cause so...

I said yes.

This Gala benefits uninsured or under-insured breast cancer patients and many of my dear friends are involved.

I truly would like to do something to help and this organization is awesome!

And I've never done anything for breast cancer...

(and I've never worn a bra while walking down a runway....holy crap!)

SO...I'm doing it.

Lord help me!!

For the past several years, since the cancer mess began, I have not taken care of myself.

I have gained about 15 ugly pounds that need to go...

and I have aged,

I have a knee that won't bend, my balance with my MS is laughable (my neurologist swears she will jump to my defense if I ever am asked to do that sobriety "walk in a straight line" thing), my feet feel like I'm walking on broken glass all the time, and

I fear for the safety of those around me in high winds...

...one direct hit from my waggling arm fat

and somebody is going down!

After hanging up with that sweet lady, I immediately had a "what did I just do" moment.

I'm not even trying to be beautiful or thin,

but I am trying to knock off some of the flappiness in the arms,

legs,

tush, and

gut.

(I think I'm stuck with the turkey wattle) :)

SO...I started a "diet" and "workout" routine thingie dealer bopper program...

BLECK!!!

I used to eat like a bird and run all the time.

I was a size 4, and sometimes those were baggy.

Then I started enjoying cooking and I quit working out.

I'm not a size 4 anymore. :)

I have never, ever considered myself to be a vain person.

My morning "get ready" routine is 10-15 minutes long...

SERIOUSLY!!

I'm quicker at getting ready than most guys!!

So this diet is no sugar and sodium for 4 days, then just be sensible.

I'm on day 4.

It sucks.

I want a big piece of frickin' pizza soooooo badly...

and a hot fudge sundae to wash it down....

with seven or eight glasses of red wine to top it off!

I LOVE food!! :)

The workouts are "interesting".

Only 20 minutes, 3 times a week.

So I thought, PSSSHHHHHH...20 minutes, 3x a week,

I've got this...

...easy peasy!

The sales pitch didn't mention that the little perky instructor chicks,

are actually Satan's spawn. :)

Sure, they seem sweet and peppy...

but they are EVIL! 

100% EVIL!!

Nobody warned me that this was a whacked out, SPEED version of Twister!!!

How the hell are you supposed to make your arms go that way while your legs go this way and you have to jump four times while crossing your feet and then lunge and...

don't forget to smile and breathe.

I'm still back on "put my right hand where?"

and she's already done 3 minutes of workout!!

WHAT?????

I have ended up tangled and on the floor more than once.  LOL!

I'm not kidding!! :)

And all day long, I stretch often so I won't get stiff...

...but still...

I stand at the bottom of the stairs and cry,

because I know I have to climb them to go to bed.

The couch downstairs is looking pretty good!!

Vanity ain't all it's cut out to be. :)

I needed motivation so I decided each day I work out, I will wear the shirt of one of my childhood cancer heroes...

When I get tired and want to stop, I just look at my shirt...

That takes care of it right away.

These kids go through WAY more than a 20 minute, evil twister workout from hell!

If they can do that, I can do this.

I have no idea if  this program is going to help me lose any inches or pounds....

it is possible that I will only lose my sanity and self respect (because evil twister is very humbling),

but I'm trying!!

I like shoveling horse manure and shooting my Daisy bb gun way better!

Shoot...I can even pee off the side of a fishing boat....

I've got MAD skills!!! LOL!!!

I just can't do that arm, leg, feet thingie the Evil Twister Chick wants me to do!! :)

well..not without falling! LOL

I'm a hot mess...

and they want me to walk down a runway...

in heels...

and a bra....

and look "perty" while I do it?!??!

LMBO!!!!!!

In all seriousness...

I can't wait!

It will be fun...

it's a GRAND detour and it is for a really good cause with some AMAZING people!!

But it is going to be freakin' hilarious when Momma D takes the runway!!!!

Hey Tyra...you might wanna check me out when I'm on the runway for your next Top Model?!?

or run away as fast as you can..

whichever!! :) 

Awwww....

It rained reallyhard in KC yesterday and

our sump pump broke during said hard rain.

SWEET!

Apparently, a part just fell off.

Freaking AWESOME!! :)

I noticed it when I opened the door to the storage room to get some things.

I caught it JUST in time because the water was inches from hitting the carpet in our basement.

I say just in time, but that "just in time" is relative. :)

Especially in a storage room

with lots of boxes

of important stuff you want to keep...

I suppose that's why you STORE them and don't ditch them. LOL!!

We have most things in plastic storage boxes up off the floor but there were things in there that I hadn't transitioned into tubs yet.

One of those things was a bag of the boys' clothes.

I hoard them... :)

I'm hoping that someday I will get someone to make a patchwork quilt for each of them.

I would LOVE that!!

WELL...

the bag got wet and so did the clothes inside.

I found so many treasures!!

Zach's first dress up shoes.

Braden's pajamas he wore during his initial chemotherapy.

Zach's footie jammies.

Christmas jammies from years before, shirts I still visualize them in when I think about those ages.

And keepsake shirts from detours.

I am such a sap when it comes to this stuff.

I know I need to get rid of them, so I now have a bunch ready to go to Good Will, but

they are so hard to party with!

I know, it's not the clothes, its the memories behind the clothes.

But to me, each item is a story, not just an item of clothing.

However, the reality is that they are JUST clothes and the memories will always be in my heart.

SO...I'm letting most of them go.

Why is this so hard?? 

It's stuff they could never wear again, and I probably have pictures of them in those things or they wouldn't be special.

Maybe it's hard because I realize my babies are growing up...

and while THAT is also a good thing...

it makes me a little sad.

I have loved every age...

and I have spend quality time with teens....

I know what's coming!

I'm cautious about enjoying those years! LOL!!

Some days, I just want to freeze time, enjoy it and soak in every detail.

That stupid sump pump incident gave me one of those days.

I suppose it was a detour...

and a life lesson.

Even when you think you are getting a soggy mess....

you might get a memory!

;)

Heroes....

UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!

Abbott Labs said...

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Braden is going to get his ABT-751!!!!!

Let that sink in for a minute.....

It's taken me quite awhile to let it sink in myself!!

There are no words, no words...

No way to thank the Hero that saved our son!

I bet you are wondering who the Hero was that gave our son a chance for more time...

Well, as you know,

Initially, Abbott Labs was responding to me while I was waging my one-mommy war to fight for his full 3 years of ABT-751.

We were told on October 3, that CHOP had been notified that Abbott Labs had decided that they weren't going to fulfill their promise to give Braden his therapy of ABT-751 because they didn't have adequate supply,

and they weren't going to make anymore.

I can only suppose that they had no interest in spending a bunch of money making it

after all...

it's just an eight year old kid.

SO..they just decided to tell Braden that "unfortunately", after a certain date, they would not have supply of the medication any longer".

That date was June of 2013.

Let me just state what Abbott must have missed when they made that decision. 

Braden is not taking this drug just for kicks and giggles,

but to treat...cANCER!!

Yes, I admit that I can't prove that the ABT-751 is what is keeping him in a second remission, but they cannot prove it is NOT!

I'm not taking a risk with my son's life, we have fought too hard to get to this point!

BUT I couldn't do a damn thing about it because Abbott Labs just decided they weren't going to let him have it anymore.

They took their ball and went home!

They decided that he would just have to roll the dice and see if he lived or died.

But, they would NEVER even KNOW if he died.

How you sleep at night knowing you were not going to give a child the drug he needed to fight cancer??

How do you look at yourself in the mirror knowing you may be putting his life in danger just because it is no longer convenient for you to make his medication?

It's beyond my ability to comprehend such an act!!

It's simply inconceivable!!

There's a special place in hell for anyone who would do that.

After I had been waging my one mommy war against them for a bit (and at least holding my ground), I hadn't heard back after asking for an update,

and I started freaking out.

I knew the reality was that it was highly unlikely they were ever going to spend the huge amount of money needed to make enough supply for Braden to receive the 14 months of ABT-751 they were trying to take away from him.

It didn't benefit them, only Braden,

which, apparently, was not incentive enough for them to continue OR they would have never said they were going to stop making the drug that may be keeping him alive.

Our son had fought too hard and been through entirely too much for me to just let them quit without a fuss.

When I hadn't heard back, I was scared that was the end of "possible" and the beginning of "we're blowing you off".

And I started feeling a lot like Glenn Close in fatal attraction! LOL!!

So, I began thinking

(which is always dangerous) :) 

And I thought and thought about who I could ask to give me advice.

I know this one guy...

No, not Tony Soprano,

another guy... ;)

and I wondered if he might be able to help me figure out how to help Braden.

When I was a teacher, I had the cutest, sweetest little girl in my class. 

I seriously loved this child...her name was Kelsey.  She truly had the kindest heart and gave the biggest hugs! SUCH a sugar!!

Her parents were extremely supportive and involved in school, and I adored them as well!

She grew up and became an even more amazing young woman, and

her dad became a United States Senator.

Jerry Moran

US Senator from Kansas.

A few years ago, I learned that Senator Moran had been the first Congressman to sign a piece of legislation for our children with cancer, when he was in the House of Representatives.

He had also graciously spoken at a childhood cancer rally we held with the Team Will Cycling Group in KC.

Senator Moran had been an amazing support for our children with cancer and

he and his beautiful family had been hoping and praying for Braden since he was diagnosed.

So I reached out to Senator Moran and told him the story of Braden, Abbott Labs, ABT-751, what I felt was a huge injustice,

and I asked if he could help me help Braden.

He didn't even pause to think about it...he literally just swooped in and began working on it with his staff.

Jerry Moran is our Hero! 

Without his work and efforts, our son would NOT have gotten his ABT-751 supply extended.

I can't prove they would have said no, but it sure felt like it was going that direction.

Senator Moran didn't have to help us.

I would have understood, it's not like there aren't a few million things going on in DC right now :)

but, he did,

and he and his staff have worked TIRELESSLY to help Braden get his medication!

You can say and believe whatever you want about the political world, but I am here to stand strong at the top of Mount HOPE and shout to the world that Senator Moran is an incredible person who helps children with cancer, one of those being my son!

I will forever believe that Senator Moran's compassion and supportive voice are the reason Braden is going to receive the remaining supply of his ABT-751.

Senator Moran gave Braden a chance to turn 9

and 10,

and 11, and 12...

and beyond.

He gave him HOPE for a future!!

I don't know how you adequately thank someone for something like this.

Senator Moran called me in person to give me the amazing news and I have to tell you...

I had a hard time coming up with words to respond.

(soooo not me!) :)

I didn't think we would ever get this result,

I hoped,

but I'm not sure I believed.

I will never doubt the power of hope, prayer, and God again!!

Thank you to each of you who hoped and prayed for this result with us.

And thank you to Senator Jerry Moran for being our Hero!!

TAKE THAT cANCER!!!

Two Years, And One Day...

Today marks two years...

and one day...

since Braden was declared to be in a second remission!

TAKE THAT cANCER!!!!!

Huge day...

absolutely HUGE!

If you've been reading along, you have heard the story of what has happened since he was declared to be in a second remission.

There's 3 years more story before of that stuff,

and it's equally filled with "Seriously!"  moments...

Seriously! :)

Well...yesterday was a day of celebration and DETOURS!!

So we all detoured, first separately, then together!

Zach and I headed out for a cooking class!

He's a huge foodie..yes, he's nine, but he loves to cook and create in the kitchen! :)

His "mixes" require much supervision though...the boy would throw everything in the pantry in a dish. 

I think it's because he's a boy... LOL!! :)

We play "Chopped" at home quite a bit and one time his basket was:

(cue the dramatic music please...

and....hit it Ted Allen....)

Vanilla pudding powder mix

Milk

Nilla Wafers

and...

Bananas.

You can probably guess what I thought he would make,

BUT...you would be wrong!

He made a vanilla pudding, banana puree sauce with a cookie/cake made from pulverized nilla wafers and pantry ingredients.

It wasn't awful!  :)

So we took a class at the KC Culinary Center in downtown Overland Park..it was a BLAST!

It was a SuperHeroes class and we made 1-2 Punch, Hulk Juice, Iron Man Meatballs, Spiderman Spaghetti and Captain America Patriotic Parfaits...

We had so much fun he wanted to make it for dad for dinner so we went to the store and did just that!

And it was just as yummy at dinner.

Again.

Twice in one day...but he was VERY happy so it was worth it! :)

I heard about a million Zachisms during the day,

but the funniest one was when we were eating and talking about the ingredients in the meatballs.

They were made from ground turkey.

He suggested we call them "turkey balls" instead.

I thought Brian might spit his food out, he was trying so hard not to laugh out loud. :)

I told him we should stick with meatballs.

Oh my sweet little blonde mini me.. :)

Braden got to spend a good chunk of the day with one of his favorite people in the world...Miss Fuller (who got married and is now Mrs. Bradley but somehow...I don't think she's ever gonna be Mrs Bradley to him)! :)

She took him down to the College Basketball Experience in downtown KC...

It is his FAVORITE place on Earth.

Basketball is Braden's love...well next to his incredible teachers and friends at school...

He shoots hoops for at least two hours a day outside when the weather allows,

and on bad weather days, he shoots inside for a really long time!!

It got him through bone marrow transplant when he was three.

Transplant is so painful you can hear kids screaming day and night.

When the nurses would hear Braden scream, they would come running to the door to check on him and leave cracking up because...

...he was screaming because he just made a good shot!

"SLAMMA JAMMA" was his first really long multi-syllabic utterance!! The MLU rocked, but the verve in which it was delivered was...

...priceless!! :)

During transplant, he got up out of bed and played basketball every day, but two.

That is FIERCE!!!

I know I'm his mom, and therefore EXTREMELY biased,

but seriously...

THAT is FIERCE!!!

And that distraction and need to play is what got him released about 3 weeks after admission.

Again...

FIERCE!!

TAKE THAT cANCER!

So he got to do his favorite thing too.

And dad coached wrestling at a kids' tournament...his love too.

And then, we all sat around, completely stuffed, watching Bubble Guppies and Zach and Brian played checkers and chess.

I really don't think a day could be more perfect!

2 years ago, they said we wouldn't get this....

and it was a lovely, wonderful day of detours....

EVERY day is a gift!

FAITH is a powerful thing...

so is HOPE!

One more time....

TAKE THAT cANCER...

In Zach's words, "Braden just PONED you!!!"

Zachism Day III...

Each Saturday, I will share a "Zachism" with you.

Zach is our nine year old and he makes me giggle...

and he's not trying! :)

He's just a joyful, fun kid and I love him!!!

Hope it makes you giggle too.

This week, we were in the car driving somewhere and Zach said,

"Mom, if I don't get a job when I graduate from  college,

I could always be a mime."

And being the supportive mother, I said,
"ummmm......no."

So without even stopping for even a second he said,
"Rapper?"

Look out world..here comes Ice Ice Zachy!!! :)

SMH! ;)

Have a great weekend!!

Holland...

I came across a story several years ago when I was a teacher.

I had no way of knowing that my own son would show me how very true it is.

It can really be applied to any situation in life, not just having a child with a disability.

We've believed Braden had autism since he was 8 months old.

And we have been doing therapies for that very thing from that time until now.



Braden with Miss Fuller and Miss Kim...his paras in 1st grade!
LOVE THESE LADIES!!

It's just the cancer mess got in the way and we didn't have time to get a diagnosis until this fall.

The psychologist, or whatever her title was, did her tests with Braden and then asked us to come back into the room.

I knew it was going to be autism...I had told her I was 99.9% sure it was.

And she confirmed it.

A few weeks later, her formal report arrived in the mail.

I read it and cried.

It boiled my sweet boy down to test scores and numbers and generalizations...

according to her...

he was going to need immediate, intensive programming.  We needed to take advantage of these million resources they had available to us and we needed to do it now because time was important...and we would have to reach out this this and that group...and do this thing and that thing....and......on and on and on....

They followed up with repeated phone calls to try to get me to ACT NOW...

It's not a Ginsu Knife commercial people...

I don't have to call in the next 30 seconds or the offer goes away!!

(and...we have been doing intensive programming...they just haven't been in the loop!) :)

I appreciate the available resources, and I appreciate the concern, but...

what the psychwhatever didn't "get" was that the autism diagnosis was really okay with us.

They were SWOOPING in to "fix" it.  In a BIG way.

All of these demands to fix things and change things and blah blah blah blah blah...

I'm beyond "fixing" it..

I embraced it years ago.

Now, don't doubt that we try very hard to help Braden become all he can be, and we want him to grow and learn and become independent.

We work to make Braden's life as good as it can be, we push him to learn and grow and he has gone through INTENSIVE therapies...I mean INTENSIVE therapies.... but

autism is NOT the end of the world!!

REALLY!

It is TRULY just a speed bump for us in comparison to everything else!!

And they were acting like Henny Penny...

the sky is actually NOT falling people!!!

CHILL!!!

I know they are worried about what is going to happen when he goes to middle school...what program is he going to be in and then what will happen when he's 18 and then 21...what will we do, where will he transition...so many questions and decisions!!?

So very Henny Penny-esq...

Frankly, I'm still stuck on the less than 10% chance of being alive in 2016.

THAT is a BIG deal!!

When Braden was 8 months old, I was hysterical, thinking my son had autism and wondering what kind of future he could possibly have...

I just wanted him to be able to play ball with his brother in the backyard, drive a car, go on a first date, go to college, get in trouble, have successes, and live a full life.

"normalcy"

And then the cancer mess hit and I didn't care one bit about any of those things anymore.

My definition of "normalcy" is no chemo, no pain, no holding him through horrible procedure after horrible procedure, no NG tubes, no central lines, no PICU stays, no more life/death decisions every week, hair, living at our home, seeing Zach every day instead of every now and then...

The fight was to keep Braden alive...not to fix his autism!!

(and we did a lot of therapies along the way and the academic and social growth this child has accomplished is truly AMAZING!!!)

So that report made me cry...Braden Hofen is NOT a generalization or a recommendation or a number...

...oh the numbers....

The report gave his IQ score.

UGHHH!  I had NO idea she was doing an IQ test or I would have stopped her!

Having been an educator for over 20 years, that number hit the hardest.

Autism is a lot like having a brain that works like it was a piece of swiss cheese.

Some things (MANY things) are completely normal and solid for Braden...he's a hugger, lover, loves to play with others and he learns things...

and teaches me even more!

Someday, I will tell you about the lessons that boy has taught me...they are the most important lessons in the world!

BUT...there are a lot of holes in his thinking.  Many things are just incredibly weak...abstract concepts being one of those, speech/language is another...

And that IQ score was a reflection of those holes.  They didn't measure what Braden Hofen was GOOD at,

they measured the holes...

I knew that yet...

even knowing that, the number was devastating.

I feared that some people reading that number would think, "ohhhh....poor baby...he's an "X" on his IQ test so there's no WAY he's going to understand what we are trying to teach him...we should stop.

So I sat on the report for a bit...and then took it to our school Principal (who I admire greatly. I've known and worked with for about 16 years).

I told him my concern and asked him to please make sure no one interpreted things that way.

I believe that the holes can be compensated for...not necessarily filled, but compensated for...

and I didn't want anyone to give up on Braden and quit because he's an "X".

Braden has shown us that over and over and over again!!

Our Principal smiled and said that everyone knows IQ scores are invalid for kids with autism.

I really like that man!! 

Braden's teams at his preschool and his grade school are amazing and I will tell you about them one day as well!! I can't WAIT for that day...we are the most blessed people in the world to have a team of educators and a school of kids that are 110% behind Braden!!!

As I read that report, I wanted to send this story about Holland to the psychodoc...

It says it all...much better than I could ever do.

I hope you enjoy it!!

Life is about "Holland Encounters"...

Life is about PERSPECTIVE, GRATITUDE, POSITIVITY and PARADIGM SHIFTS!

Shoot...shift your perspective no matter what you have a pair of.... ;)

Change with it...adapt...embrace...like Tim Gunn would say,

"Make it work people!!"

This is Braden with his "Miss Kim" who works with him every day! LOVE HER!!!

HOLLAND

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.


Have a "Holland Day" friends!!

Deliece

Dr. Jekyl and Momma Hyde...

In January or February of 2011, (I honestly can't remember which) as I sat in my breast surgeon's office listening to her tell me about the pathology and histology of my breast cancer, my jaw was on the floor.

She said she knew it was overwhelming and asked if I was okay.

I said no.

My loves!

But not for the reason she thought...I was in shock...again, not for the reason she thought.

I had stage II invasive ductal carcinoma...fortunately, a type of breast cancer that there is a lot known about and there are a lot of options for treatments.

This was at the same time Braden was at the end of his options...

She was telling me that my cancer was this and that and because of this and that they could do these and those treatments that were effective for MY cancer's pathology and histology, specifically!

I was pissed.

Period.

In three years, we had searched for information about neuroblastoma, but it didn't exist because scientists don't have money to do the research for childhood cancer.

I didn't care if I lived, I wanted my SON to live...and I had 87% odds, he had less than 10%.

Just think about that for a minute.  What if you were in the same position with your child??

I don't know any parent who wouldn't give their life for their child's.

I wanted nothing more than to give the hope I was getting to him....

and I couldn't.

I felt helpless.

And mad.

That was the moment we decided to start a foundation to change that.

Well...one of the treatments, because of the specific indicators of my cancer, was that I elected to have an ovarectomy and start taking medication to shut down all of the hormones in my body.

My cancer is highly receptive to hormones...meaning they feed the beast, so we eliminate them and I have a better chance of not having to hassle with this again...and be able to be there for Braden and Zach!

He went first...made it easier to lose mine! :)

I started Tamoxofen not long after the conclusion of my chemo.

It threw me into "the change"...you know.."THE change"....

I had heard about menopause, and it's "gifts".

Rumors of hot flashes and night sweats...and more,

But I was tough...it wasn't going to be anything for me!

Whoa buddy...was I wrong!! :)

Hot flashes are a lot like someone having a voodoo doll of you...

and at random intervals, that person thrusts the head of said voodoo doll into...

a blast furnace.

Not kidding.

This sickening feeling of being thrown into a 1500 degree oven overtakes your entire body.

My hot flashes don't last that long...seconds to a few minutes...but I have like 60 a day,

yes, I counted them once.

And you NEVER know when they are going to hit...and they come with an additional bonus...

the urge to rip someone's head off and roll it down the street,

just for sport!  (tee hee hee)  LOL!

Kidding....

sort of. :)

The other day, I had just gone through the Starbucks drive thru...I don't drink coffee but I love their hot chocolate

(I know...it's messed up). :)

I started driving down the road and one hit..so I peeled off my coat...

That wasn't enough,

by a long shot...

SO I was about to roll down the window...but it was about 20 degrees outside, and I KNEW people would be staring at the blonde woman with her head hanging out the window like a dog headed to the dog park! :)

(But I REFUSE to wag my tail....girl's gotta have her limits!)

So, I elected to turn on the AC full blast.

And there I was driving down the road, AC blasting full force, sweating like I had just run a marathon.

I was pretty sure that every person at the stoplights was staring at me wondering why the chick in the white vehicle was panting and fanning... :)

Pretty, Hott...whichever!

...sing along,

"I felt pretty...oh so pretty...!"

Then there's the night sweats,

you wake up in your very own private swimming pool,

so you fling off the covers,

and two seconds later you are freezing... so you grab the covers...

only to repeat 400 times per night! :)

AWESOME!! :)

And then there's the "mood swings".  My husband is never sure who is going to be home when he gets here...Dr. Jekyl or Momma Hyde...

I'll be cooking dinner...la dee da dee da...

and one hits and suddenly, my entire attitude changes...

and I have a knife in my hand... (snicker, snicker)

be afraid,

be VERY afraid... LOL!!!

No task is without it's precious moments,

I will be blow drying my hair and am standing there with a gallon of sweat running down my face so I can't put my makeup on just yet....the next action (to cool my face off before the make up thing) is based on what season it is:

Winter...run to the window and fling it open for a minute, or two.

Summer...run to the freezer and fling it open for a minute, or two.

Seriously!! :)

And as much as I laugh about all this "stuff", I am blessed and fortunate that I have a kind of cancer that allows me to have something I can do to help prevent it from coming back.

And I DO feel blessed!!

I've switched over to Arimidex and it's better since then...no more night sweats and crazy mood swings but the hot flashes remain the same!

(not sure Brian would agree about those mood swings though!!) :)

Some days you just have to laugh!!! 

Hope you did too!



Look closely by my lips...I have always believed that was Miranda giving me a kiss for my birthday! My 3 kids!