Braden got an "Octopus Carwash" from Santa for Christmas.
What is an octopus carwash, you might ask....
Well...when we go through one of the many car washes he loves, it has big long dangling ribbons of cloth...or something...and they go back and forth and rub the car clean.
And to Braden, they look like an octopus. :)
He asked Santa for an octopus carwash this year and by golly if the jolly old elf didn't find him one.
(Rumor is you can find them on Amazon as well as at the North Pole) :)
And it even goes in the bathtub...and has a track that moves the car along as you squirt water on the car and it rolls through sponge brushes and the octopus.
Braden was REALLY happy about this toy and he was enjoying playing with it in a tub full of bubbles for the second time ever...
when I heard a loud scream...
"HELP MOM!!!! SOMETHING'S IN THE TUB!"
So I went sprinting into the bathroom to find him standing, bare naked with a thick coating of bubbles dripping down his legs (he likes a lot of Mr. Bubble in his tubble)...
...nearly climbing up the walls at the end of the tub to get away from whatever was in the tub.
And then he said it.
"...THERE'S POO IN THE TUB!"
Oh Crap.
I know there are mommies and daddies out there that get this...when kids are in the tub when they are little, sometimes it just happens...
Nurses call it a "sitz bath"
and it sure is a crappy happening.
My first thought was to call out to my husband for help.
(I could get HIM to deal with it and I would take care of a trembling Braden...thereby getting out of the crappiest part of this emergency).
I didn't say I was proud of it...
I was just being "logical".
But, he had left moments earlier to go to the store and get waffle mix because I had a craving for waffles for lunch.
Good guy...
but it was extremely unfortunate timing for him to do something really nice for me.
No pawning it off on him... UGH!
Oh don't pretend like you wouldn't try to get someone else to do it... LOL!
Time to suck it up and
"mom up"!
Crap!
I so didn't wanna!!
SO I pulled Braden out of the tub and wrapped a towel around him.
No need moving him far because once the tub was cleaned he would require an immediate shower...
frankly, I wanted one right then too...and I hadn't even found anything yet.
He stood outside the tub being especially helpful and pointing to where the poo was and saying repeatedly, "THE POO IS IN THE TUB....THAT'S YUCKY!"
I agreed completely.
So, I began to part the bubbles to locate the offender.
My mind flashed to Bill Murray in CaddyShack locating the "doodie" while cleaning the pool and then eating the Baby Ruth candy bar. "It's no big deal!" Come on 1980's friends...you remember! :)
But it seemed like a kinda big deal...the entire time I was cringing and putting my hand on the very top of the bubbles while moving them slowly so I wouldn't touch it.
And inside my head I was saying, "EW EW EW EW EW EW!"
I didn't want to freak Braden out any more than he already was...he was nearly hysterical...I had to stay calm and breathe...
Okay...so I didn't want to breathe...
for obvious reasons.
Braden had his hand on my back while looking over my shoulder profusely apologizing, "I sorry mom....get the poo pwease...hurry mommy...get it!"
Mommy was trying...
and where the hell was my husband,
it couldn't take that long to get waffle mix from the store!!!
Oh sure it had only been like 30 seconds,
but it seemed a LOT longer!
And then "it" floated to the top of the bubbles.
It took all my courage to pick it up....
...It was a bandaid that had formerly been on his finger.
I pulled it out and showed it to Braden who said, "Ohhhhhhhh....a bandaid!"
So he hopped back into the tub and began playing in the water again.
And I washed my hands profusely...just felt the need...
and then headed downstairs for a BIG drink of orange juice...
with a lot of champagne mixed in.
A potentially crappy moment that turned out to simply be a case of mistaken identity.
Mommy jobs are usually interesting, surprising, funny, ironic and...
they are always memorable!
No doodie.
