Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The Cheetah, The Elephant, and Prom...

Last night I couldn't sleep...worried about the results of the bone marrow test that will show if Braden's cancer is gone after his transplant. If it's not, we are in big it's one of those things that will keep you up late at night.

I was watching the Animal Planet (seriously) and a show about African Cats came on, it was narrated by Samuel Jackson.

(every time I hear his voice is snicker because all I can think of is him narrating the book "Go The "F" To Sleep"...)  Giggling now...

The baby cubs of the lionesses and the momma cheetah were SO adorable. I just wanted to snuggle them (perhaps not the best idea but they were just so huggable)  :)

The cheetah cubs are playing in the tall grass when two male cheetah brothers approached. Samuel warned us that male cheetahs often will kill small cubs.  I wanted to turn it off, but I kept watching...hoping they would be okay.

The momma defended her babies but they got around her and started attacking her babies.

I was literally standing in front of the television, pointing my finger and telling the male cheetahs to stop it right now...and telling the babies to run..hide...and where was momma??

It looked like it was over for the babies when a HUGE momma elephant came stomping in, swinging her trunk and bellowing at the brother cheetahs to scare them away.

Now I was clapping, crying, and yelling, "Oh you GO Momma Elephant!! Kick their asses!"

After the cheetahs ran for their lives, the elephant just walked away and the babies were safe and sound...and so was the momma.


I started thinking about how we should all be more like the momma elephant...willing to step in and help someone other than our family and friends just because they needed our assistance.

Then I remembered the Prom party that was going on when we checked into a hotel the day Braden was dismissed from the hospital's bone marrow transplant unit.  Brian was bringing the luggage into the room and he laughed and said there was a HUGE prom party in the room next to us, so it might be a long night.

We had heard them...I just didn't know it was high school kids and a prom party.

By about 8:30, it was in full swing and crazy loud. Grandpa Zach (our 11 year old) was quite perturbed and wanted to go next door and tell them to be more respectful and be quiet so people could "think".

I laughed and wished I could record it and play it for him in about 6 years for his reflection purposes. :)

They weren't bad, just loud and silly and then about 10:00, they all disappeared. Apparently, going to the actual prom itself.

I braced myself for their return and the "After Prom" party that was likely coming later that night until the wee hours of the morning.

About midnight, I heard two loud voices in the hallway and thought, "here we go..."

The boy was yelling, "Why the "F" are you crying!! QUIT crying" and the girl was sobbing yelling that he had ruined her prom night. After a long argument in the hallway, they went into the room and continued the yelling there.

Ah...young love (bats eyelashes)

I was bracing the the rest of the gang to join them and trying to go to sleep but then the girl yelled, "Why did you hit me so hard?"

That got my attention.

I began listening fairly intently (although I didn't need to try to hear them because every word they were saying was crystal clear and extremely loud). It was a 50-50 yell fest but the boy was very ugly and demeaning in how he was treating the girl. And she was crying profusely in between her verbal assaults, but she was dishing out as well. That went on for at least 30-45 minutes and I just kept listening thinking if I heard him lay hand on her or if she sounded like she was being hurt, I was going over.

They continued and at one point I heard her say "You ruined my sex life!" to which he replied "I ruined YOUR sex life?"

I shuddered and thought...

 "T.....M.....I.....Please stop!!!!"

Then I heard her say, "ouch!"

That's all it took. I sprang out of bed and told Brian was was going next door because I was worried the guy was hitting his girlfriend and I was out the door before Brian could even get out of bed.

All I could think was that if this was MY daughter, what would I want someone to do.

And part of me wanted to get her parents on the phone so I could yell at them and ask them what the hell they were thinking renting a room for the kids to have a pre-prom party in and for her and her boyfriend to spend the night.   Maybe Zach gets that whole "disapproving grandpa attitude from someone...gulp!"

I knocked (loudly) on the door. It immediately went silent inside their room. Then footsteps...bumping into the door...whispers of "it's some lady in pajamas"...and finally the door opened.

The teeny tiny teenage girl stood there in her teenier tinier dress with dried mascara that had run down her cheeks. She said, "yes?"

She looked red marks on her (and trust me, I could see most of her skin), her hair wasn't messed up and other than the mascara mess she looked fine, and that bold girl who had been screaming at her boyfriend instantly became a little girl who was scared she was in trouble.

The dude was no where to be seen but I knew he was there, hiding so I wouldn't know he was there. Apparently he has not been paying attention in school and he didn't know that sound (especially YELLING) travels. LOL!

I asked her if she was okay and she looked at me with eyes that said, "why in the world would you ask THAT" and said of course she was. I was relieved, but I wanted the dude to know that I knew exactly what was going on in the event he decided to do anything after I left.

I realized the guy wasn't going to come to the door (chicken) so I very loudly said, "I can hear EVERYTHING! I heard you asking him why he hit you so hard, I heard you say ouch. I hear him yelling at you, calling you horrible names (I told her exactly what he had called her), and both of you throwing the f-bomb at each other every other word.  And I came over because I wanted to make sure you were okay and not being hurt."

She assured me that she was fine and not hurt and apologized profusely for being so loud.  I said I wanted to see the dude and she just froze in the doorway. It was obvious he wasn't coming into the light (because again he was NOT there...duh me) so I said, "You need to cool it buddy! You need to stop now because I will come back!"

Total silence.

She apologized again and I walked back to our room. Things were much quieter but I could still hear the "talking" and I stayed up until VERY early in the morning to make sure that she was okay.

The next day, I was mad at myself for not doing more. I had been like Ms. Elephant. I simply had broken up the fight.

I had not changed the world. I had not educated anyone, I had not helped them resolve whatever they were fighting about, I had not taught them a single thing, I hadn't told the girl to stay the hell away from that guy because he was a jerk and she should NEVER allow anyone to treat her like that...I had merely broken up the argument for that night and made it known that "mom" was listening and would be back if they did it again.

Just like I do with my own sons when they argue over whose turn it is on the PlayStation.

I was disappointed with myself for not doing more.

But...I did a little.

Just like Ms. Elephant...I did something to change the path the rest of the evening was heading down.

What a different world it would be if we all did a little.  If we didn't just walk past things and we stepped up to offer a hand to someone who was hurting. I didn't do anything huge and awesome...but I was able to settle with my conscience because I had done something.

I'm blessed to be surrounded by people who do something all the time. Friends who just step up to help because it's the right thing to do. And I realized that this is bey design. I found that "post 40", I have chosen to surround myself with those types of people and let the others who are not like Momma Elephant go in their own direction, without me.

I'm fortunate to be a part of an entire herd of "Ms. Elephants".

Be like Ms. Elephant and live among a herd of them.

I promise your life will be blessed as a result!

And I have now added "snuggle a baby tiger or cheetah" to my bucket list.