Zach...

Today is a very special day.

It's Zach's 10th Birthday!!!

I remember April 3, 2003 like it was yesterday. I woke up to Brian video taping waking me up!! :)

His delivery was a planned c-section after Miranda's birth which was an emergency c-section. I didn't want to take ANY chances that normal delivery might cause complications.

I was SO over complications.  Miranda had died on August 1, 2001 and I had a miscarriage in between Miranda and Zach.

We SO wanted a baby!!

So off we went to the hospital, and a little after 12:30, Zachary Dean Hofen was born!

He cried immediately.  And he didn't stop crying, very often! :)

He cried so much that the nurses came in the middle of the night and asked if they could help. LOL!  This child hasn't stopped "talking" since he was born!!

We gave him a pacifier and he was much happier.

It was pure joy!! I didn't want to stop holding him because it was finally here. We finally had a beautiful, healthy baby!!

There were no words to describe the feeling of holding him for the first time. I looked at his face, and I was honestly terrified and completely in love.

I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop...something had to be wrong, it couldn't be that he was fine?

But he was, and as we held him, both Brian and I had tears.  Tears of joy and tears remembering the last time we had been in the c-section operating room when Miranda was born.

We were finally going to be able to take our child home with us rather than leaving the hospital with empty arms!!

And...I had NO idea what I was doing! I'm the youngest in my family and I had only changed a handful of diapers. We had to take a class to learn how to do the "basics".  LOL!!

Brian was the fastest swaddler in the class!! I wasn't one of the top ten!! :)

It's not like I was completely unprepared...

I had a Baby Alive when I was little!! :)

I fed her and gave her a bottle, she pooped and peed....

Okay, I confess, I stopped feeding her and putting water in her bottle because....well, it was gross and smelly and not something I enjoyed.

But I took GREAT care of my Mrs. Beasley doll!!...

I never lost her glasses and I took her for rides in my toy baby carriage all the time!!!

So what if I couldn't swaddle that doll in class!! LOL!

Brian and simply soaked in every minute after he was born. It was total happiness!  After we had so much trouble getting pregnant, then Miranda died, and then we had a miscarriage....3 years of sadness, we finally had a child to bring home and love!! PURE JOY!!!!

Then, a few hours after Zach was born, the lactation nurse came in to try to help me breast feed.

It was not working and I was rolling with the punches and not getting too worked up so she asked me how committed I was to breast feeding.

I told her that I was only going to be able to breast feed for a couple of months before I went back on my medication for my MS.  I had to go back on my meds because I would risk a flare of my MS and Zach couldn't drink my breast milk once I started my shots. Betaseron isn't good for babies.

She disapprovingly looked at me and said something about how that wasn't very committed and how I needed to reconsider my dedication to our son, and then she launched into a whole angry-faced speech about why I needed to better for our son and how good moms do x,y, and z.

She made me feel completely horrible!

I don't often shrink away, but I did at that moment.  I was too crushed and I had no fight to respond with, I was hurt. I held my son closer and averted my eyes from her judgmental stare.

And Brian doesn't get mad very often,

but he did that day.

She left, I had tears, and Brian went down the hallway after her.

I can only imagine how that convo went!! :)

The supervisor came in later and apologized for her.  She never returned, which was wise!

We had so many visitors in to meet Zach and share in our happiness!  It was honestly the best feeling in the world and it was so much fun to share it with all of our friends.  Brian called our families and told them Zach had arrived.

When we came home, our entire yard and house was decorated by our amazing neighbors! It was priceless!! I cannot describe how much our friends are our family...but they truly are just that!

I just can't believe Zach is 10 today.  I know. Every parent says that, but it's TRUE!

When I tucked him in bed last night, I told him to enjoy his last night of single digit sleep because tomorrow, he enters the double digit world and will be there for a really long time...triple digits are next!! :)  He thought about that for a long time and was REALLY excited about this double digit thing.

I just cringe thinking about double digits that end with the word "teen".....oh boy!! "Drive-teen", "Date-teen", "First Kiss teen" "Graduate teen"....ughhhhhhhh!!!

I need a drink!!!

10??  How in the world did the time fly so fast!?

And what an amazing 10 years it has been.

Zach is joyful and kind and just a good kid. I feel VERY blessed to  be his mom. He makes me smile every day and his Zachisms leave me in fits of laughter, although I try for that laughter to be with my "inside voice".

I think he's amazing!!

And I'm a very proud momma!!

Happy Birthday Zacharoonie!!!!