Why...

There are a lot of things in life that make me wonder "why". You know, really big life questions that need answers and solutions.

Things like: Why do rabbits only eat the flowers and plants in my landscape beds and not the weeds?

I would totally welcome those little "wascals" if they would just eat the weeds rather than destroying what is left of my expensive plants.

Most of my "why" questions center around my children and this parenting gig. My boys leave me with several questions that cause me to scratch my head in wonder.

Here are a few:

Why Do They ALWAYS Begin Causing Trouble The Second I Answer The Phone?

Seriously!

They can be doing whatever they are doing independently and beautifully for hours but the minute the phone rings it's like a Pavlovian bell throwing them to active duty.

Suddenly, they both need something or have to tell me something...

e-freaking-mediately.

I've even left the room and escaped into the garage to take a call so I could hear the person on the other end.

I was, of course, locked out by my nine year old who has autism because once a door closes has a tremendous need to lock it...

e-freaking-mediately.

Bonus Parent-Trap Tip, it's not that easy to get two giggling boys to let you back into your house when you are knocking and asking them to open the door...right now! Keep a spare key handy in the garage.

Why Do They Not Care About A Particular Toy For Months Until They See Their Sibling Touching It...

And then suddenly it becomes priceless and their favorite toy ever and "he can have anything else I own but not THAT mom. I love THAT!"

Sigh....

and mom eye rolls.

Why Do They Not Hear You When You Ask Them To Help You With A Chore...

BUT...they can be sound asleep upstairs as you sneak into the freezer and get out the good ice cream you have been hiding WAY in the back and when you start to scoop it into a bowl...

they suddenly appear in the kitchen and ask to have some ice cream.

(Not that this has ever happened to me)

Why Do They Wake Up At 5:30 AM....

on the only day you can sleep in.

And as an added bonus they make so much noise "being quiet and waiting patiently for you to wake up just like you told me to do mom" that they wake you up and you can't get back to sleep.

But, on days when they have to be up, you literally have to roll them out of their beds...

while they whine and complain about how much noise you are making trying to wake them up so early because they are soooo tired. "Puhlease mom...just five more minutes!!"

Why Do They Have To Have Funny Retorts To Questions When You Are Mad?

This happens most often to me when I am talking to myself using my "out loud" voice rather than my "inside my head" voice as steam is billowing out of my ears after my boys have done something bad.

Usually, it's when they are sitting quietly to "reflect upon their behavior". (That's the  9 and 11 year old version of time out because apparently time out is for babies, so I just renamed it.)

Boom!

Here's a recent example...

"Why in the world would anyone ever think it was a good idea to spray sunscreen all over the side of the car?  What could you possibly be thinking the positive result of that action would be?"

The answer from the non-involved sibling witness, while giggling, was...

"You gotta admit mom, it is really pretty funny if you think about it for a minute!"

It's hard to make an effective case for not doing something again, ever, when you are laughing so hard you have tears.

AND....Why Are They So Darn Adorable When They Sleep?

Nothing is cuter than watching them all curled up, sleeping...

without talking...

or spraying sunscreen on cars...

or fighting over a toy.

When they are just quiet and sweet and...

silent.

I'm pretty sure those moments are the ones that keep me sane...

'ish.

Even with all the "whys", I wouldn't trade this mom gig for anything in the world.

I just keep the wine handy!