Be kind.
Kindness means to be friendly, generous and considerate.
It's pretty simple to understand.
But somehow, it seems so difficult to live...
for some...
not all....
Let me be clear that being kind doesn't mean that you are never going to disagree with someone,
that you will never take issue with them,
that you will always get along with every person you encounter,
and that you will choose to be friends with everyone you meet.
Kindness is about being humble...
and not being a "Bye Felicia" kind of person...
because none of us is all that...
we are ALL works in progress...
and intentionally proclaiming our superiority over others, is certainly not what kindness is about.
Kindness dictates that we understand the concept of humility before anything else.
Kindness is about being selfless....
and giving up your time to listen and appreciate rather than proclaim and judge.
It doesn't mean we are doormats who never stand up for ourselves or others.
We all should make our points and then discuss those points.
We even can agree to disagree on things...
But then we must move forward...
Without resentment.
Kindness is about embracing differences....
and seeking to actually understand those differences...
not just tolerate them.
Kindness is about being unassuming...
while being willing to learn about different points of view...
so we can grow....
because nobody knows everything.
My 11 year old has autism.
Because of his autism, he doesn't understand the concepts of judging people and gossiping. He is literally incapable of gossip and has never said a negative or nasty word about anyone as a result, ever.
He likes everyone, and loves a special few. He approaches every person with love in his heart and a smile on his face, without fail...
Even when he is not met with the same.
He teaches me about kindness through his example and by watching others with him.
His friends are so sweet with him and the level of kindness these children possess and show is absolutely what we should all try to achieve in our lifetimes.
I've watched them sit with him at lunch, when they could sit with "normal" kids.
I've watched one of his friends comfort him and hold his hand to walk him into class because he was scared.
I see his friends stop to hug him or give him high fives every morning when he gets to school, every single day.
I've seen kids leave groups with "normal" peers to seek him out to play because he was alone. They have skipped competitive league games to come to his birthday parties. They have gone out of their way to invite him to watch their sports teams play so he can cheer them on. They know it's a way he can be involved because he will never be able to play on a competitive team.
And I have witnessed his friends come to his defense when others do not act with kindness toward him. That makes me grateful...
and hopeful.
What if we could all learn to be truly kind like these kids?
We could all learn this from these children and start to model their examples of generosity, friendship, and compassion.
What if we all could be
humble,
selfless,
unassuming,
AND KIND...
rather than the opposites.
Because we are all a little bit like the dismissed and belittled "Felicias" of the world...
we are all a little misunderstood...
and we are certainly all works in progress.
What if we all looked at our OWN reflection in the mirror and drilled deep down inside that person to see where our level of responsibility and ownership lies for all of the things we want to judge and criticize others for?
Just be kind.
It's that simple.
Be Kind!
Showing posts with label kindness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kindness. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Trade ya'...
I'm going to Disney World!!
Yup...but it's just me, no kids!
Sound like a dream? Or nightmare? Well...it's not for fun, I'm heading there for a conference about childhood cancer. I'm very excited to get to meet some of my fellow momcologists and hear from some of the best researchers in the world about what's coming on the horizon. It's going to be awesome!
The last time we were in Disney was for Braden's Make A Wish trip in August of 2009. What a wonderful/awful trip.
Wonderful because the boys enjoyed it so very much. Awful because we thought Braden was dying and that everything we did would be a last. There are no words to describe how blessed we feel that he is still here! Absolutely amazing! Thank you Lord for the gift of time!
On our trip in 2009, we stayed at the Give Kids The World Village which is an awesome place in itself. One of the things you get is a special pass that admits you to any Disney park that you want to go to and allows you to go first in line, no waiting in the long lines.
We went through the handicapped lane.
The thing that amazed me were the ugly looks and comments from people waiting in line. They were just MAD that we were getting to pass them and zip to the fun part without the long, hot wait.
I mean MAD!
They would give you an evil stare and quietly say nasty comments about us to those near them.
Braden still had his hair, we all looked healthy.
Little did they know what was beneath that appearance. "No known cure", "Less then 10% chance for 5 year survival", that's what we were facing.
I would look back at them and think "I would trade you in a second!" I would be happy to stand in that line for an hour waiting to go on the Dumbo Ride. I really would, if I could reasonably believe that my son would be alive in 6 months.
I would give anything to be in their hot and miserable shoes.
ANYTHING!
Even kiddoes in wheelchairs got ugly looks...are you even kidding me??? Wow!! I was shocked.
And while I wished that they knew our story and weren't so hurtful and awful in their need to judge, condemn, and blame; I also hoped that they would never find out exactly what it's like to be in our shoes.
All the fight was gone from me at that point or I'm sure I would have spoken up. I was in a deep depression and a very sad place at that time. All I wanted to do is hold my son,
and change his fate.
And I could only do one of those two.
Since that time, I've had so many cancer families tell me that they have had similar experiences. Their child gets a special wish or honor and people around them tell them how "lucky they are"!
Lucky?? Really???
No one is lucky to have cancer. ESPECIALLY a child!
Maybe a better word is "deserving". These kids who fight cancer deserve a few breaks...they deserve some kudos, some time to enjoy life, and they deserve to be honored and celebrated.
There are few words to explain what these babies have to go through with cancer treatments. Devastating, painful, horrific...those fit.
Unfair..that fits too. They should be playing and going to school and having friends over and not wondering if tomorrow they will die.
Their siblings and parents should not have to wonder and worry. It's not right.
Every day of their lives, they will have to wonder. They will wonder if tomorrow is the day it comes back and they have to fight again, and maybe this time they won't make it.
Long line....no "special perks"....I'll take it.
I PRAY for normalcy..for being able to let Braden play soccer and not have to worry that his port will get hit and he will die. When he had a Hickman I prayed that he could simply take a bath or shower because he couldn't do that for fear he would get it wet. Over a year of sponge baths.
I prayed that we would be able to simply sleep in our beds at night with all four of us in our house.
I prayed for no alarms going off in the middle of the night to change feeds, add another chemo, or give medicine doses.
I prayed for a meal with my family, at a table and not just fast food with plastic forks and styrofoam trays while sitting on the parent couch at the hospital.
I prayed to be able to go outside. Just GO OUTSIDE! We were in the hospital for weeks at a time and while we could see outside from our window, we couldn't GO outside.
I prayed for boredom and routine. Oh how I prayed for predictability, and control.
So many wonderful people reach out to help and give children with cancer a reason to smile because they get it. They understand that they should not have to go through what they are enduring.
They CARE.
They LOVE.
And they hold out their hands wide open and fold their kindness around our babies. It's truly one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed. And the smiles these kids get from those acts...are priceless!
Everything we do with the foundation focuses on giving kids these perks because they deserve it!
So to the precious and vocal ones who don't get it, I feel sorry for you. I truly do because apparently you haven't learned what those that hold their arms wide open have learned:
Selfless and compassionate acts matter!
Thank you to the countless people who have reached their arms out for not only our family, but for any families of children with cancer. Your gracious acts are greatly appreciated.
And, to those strangers who didn't get it...my offer stands...
I'll trade you any day of the week.
ANY day.
Yup...but it's just me, no kids!
Sound like a dream? Or nightmare? Well...it's not for fun, I'm heading there for a conference about childhood cancer. I'm very excited to get to meet some of my fellow momcologists and hear from some of the best researchers in the world about what's coming on the horizon. It's going to be awesome!
The last time we were in Disney was for Braden's Make A Wish trip in August of 2009. What a wonderful/awful trip.
Wonderful because the boys enjoyed it so very much. Awful because we thought Braden was dying and that everything we did would be a last. There are no words to describe how blessed we feel that he is still here! Absolutely amazing! Thank you Lord for the gift of time!
On our trip in 2009, we stayed at the Give Kids The World Village which is an awesome place in itself. One of the things you get is a special pass that admits you to any Disney park that you want to go to and allows you to go first in line, no waiting in the long lines.
We went through the handicapped lane.
The thing that amazed me were the ugly looks and comments from people waiting in line. They were just MAD that we were getting to pass them and zip to the fun part without the long, hot wait.
I mean MAD!
They would give you an evil stare and quietly say nasty comments about us to those near them.
Braden still had his hair, we all looked healthy.
Little did they know what was beneath that appearance. "No known cure", "Less then 10% chance for 5 year survival", that's what we were facing.
I would look back at them and think "I would trade you in a second!" I would be happy to stand in that line for an hour waiting to go on the Dumbo Ride. I really would, if I could reasonably believe that my son would be alive in 6 months.
I would give anything to be in their hot and miserable shoes.
ANYTHING!
Even kiddoes in wheelchairs got ugly looks...are you even kidding me??? Wow!! I was shocked.
And while I wished that they knew our story and weren't so hurtful and awful in their need to judge, condemn, and blame; I also hoped that they would never find out exactly what it's like to be in our shoes.
All the fight was gone from me at that point or I'm sure I would have spoken up. I was in a deep depression and a very sad place at that time. All I wanted to do is hold my son,
and change his fate.
And I could only do one of those two.
Since that time, I've had so many cancer families tell me that they have had similar experiences. Their child gets a special wish or honor and people around them tell them how "lucky they are"!
Lucky?? Really???
No one is lucky to have cancer. ESPECIALLY a child!
Maybe a better word is "deserving". These kids who fight cancer deserve a few breaks...they deserve some kudos, some time to enjoy life, and they deserve to be honored and celebrated.
There are few words to explain what these babies have to go through with cancer treatments. Devastating, painful, horrific...those fit.
Unfair..that fits too. They should be playing and going to school and having friends over and not wondering if tomorrow they will die.
Their siblings and parents should not have to wonder and worry. It's not right.
Every day of their lives, they will have to wonder. They will wonder if tomorrow is the day it comes back and they have to fight again, and maybe this time they won't make it.
Long line....no "special perks"....I'll take it.
I PRAY for normalcy..for being able to let Braden play soccer and not have to worry that his port will get hit and he will die. When he had a Hickman I prayed that he could simply take a bath or shower because he couldn't do that for fear he would get it wet. Over a year of sponge baths.
I prayed that we would be able to simply sleep in our beds at night with all four of us in our house.
I prayed for no alarms going off in the middle of the night to change feeds, add another chemo, or give medicine doses.
I prayed for a meal with my family, at a table and not just fast food with plastic forks and styrofoam trays while sitting on the parent couch at the hospital.
I prayed to be able to go outside. Just GO OUTSIDE! We were in the hospital for weeks at a time and while we could see outside from our window, we couldn't GO outside.
I prayed for boredom and routine. Oh how I prayed for predictability, and control.
So many wonderful people reach out to help and give children with cancer a reason to smile because they get it. They understand that they should not have to go through what they are enduring.
They CARE.
They LOVE.
And they hold out their hands wide open and fold their kindness around our babies. It's truly one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed. And the smiles these kids get from those acts...are priceless!
Everything we do with the foundation focuses on giving kids these perks because they deserve it!
So to the precious and vocal ones who don't get it, I feel sorry for you. I truly do because apparently you haven't learned what those that hold their arms wide open have learned:
Selfless and compassionate acts matter!
Thank you to the countless people who have reached their arms out for not only our family, but for any families of children with cancer. Your gracious acts are greatly appreciated.
And, to those strangers who didn't get it...my offer stands...
I'll trade you any day of the week.
ANY day.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
My Chiefs, Part I....
It's no secret...I LOVE the KC Chiefs!!
I have loved them since I was a little girl.
I had brothers, we watched a lot of football!! ;)
Yes, I know...last year was a bad year. The year before wasn't that great either but I'm a fan for life and I will ALWAYS stand behind my team!! Good Season or Not So Good Season and even the bad seasons.
I will always love my Chiefs and this is why...
What you don't see when they are off the field is who they really are...they are dads, husbands, brothers, uncles, sons...
Not numbers on a jersey and positions on a team.
I'm going to share two special days with you in picture form. Today is day #1. Let me give you the background and then you will get to see the day rather than read about it.
Day #1 (this entry) happened in November of 2010...and the Chiefs made the playoffs that year.
I have only shared this with a handful of friends and never shown the world the pictures. We thought Braden was dying when this day happened and I've always kept it very private. I want to share it now so you understand WHY I love my Chiefs and the Cassels so much!!
This is one of our Top Ten Days EVER!
Lauren and Matt Cassel are truly two of the most kind, caring, genuinely sweet people I have ever met!
At some point, and honestly I don't even remember when, we came home and had a message from Lauren Cassel (the wife of Matt Cassel the KC Chiefs QB).
Not kidding.
She said she had stalked me to find our phone number. :) Her brother had been following us on Twitter and he told her about Braden.
She wanted to know if Braden wanted to meet a Chiefs player. I was stunned!! I said we would love to meet Matt and she said, "Noooo...really, any player he wants to meet!"
I assured her that we would love to meet Matt!
Well, Lauren and Matt moved Heaven and Earth and made something happen that I don't think happens very often.
Braden and Zach were invited to come out to the practice facility and play with "the guys".
Seriously!!
That facility is locked down like Fort Knox!!!
So the boys got to play with Matt Cassel, Jeremy (I so cannot recall his last name...he was receiver), and Tyler Palco (backup QB).
Tyler, unfortunately, made the mistake of telling Zach his sister called him "Ty Ty" when he was little...sooo...Zach still refers to him as "Ty Ty". LOL!
They played outside, they played inside, the went to the weight room....
and we had one of the most grand detours EVER!
(we even had a security guard with us at all times...seriously)! :)
Then they had pizza. Coach Haley asked them to call him when we went in to have pizza so he could come say hi again. I'll show you the first time we met him tomorrow.
What a dream!! What a story to tell generations to come.. "one day I got to go play with the Chiefs"
AMAZING!!
It was UNBELIEVABLE and it is one of the many reasons I am a Chiefs fan and specifically a Matt Cassel fan.
Braden was having a lot of pain because the cancer was still in his bones and it was hard for him to run for very long, but he had so much fun. He never cried or wimpered one time!
He just LAUGHED and GIGGLED and SMILED!!
And these pictures show why if you talk trash about my Chiefs or any member of the Chiefs, I will take you out!! LOL! Just look at the smiles on my son's faces and you will understand why!
These people are in my heart forever and they gave my sons something PRICELESS!!!
No one asked them to do this...they offered because they cared.
They are GOOD PEOPLE!!! And my heart hurt every time someone said something critical about any of them this year. Talk about football all you want, but please don't cut down the people!!
They are VERY special and they have brought a lot of love and joy into my sons lives...
and they have done even more for MANY kids after this through our foundation, not because the Chiefs told them they had to, but because they wanted to on their own time. Many players joined in and lent a hand...and they ROCK!!!
www.BradensHope.org
TAKE THAT cANCER!!!
PS..the formatting on the pictures isn't working well...I'm sure it's "operator error" so if you want to see a picture closer, just click on it and it should enlarge and you can flip through them. I highly recommend you do this because you can see the boys' faces much better! :)
These are pictures of Matt Cassel...
(I actually made Matt a Bag-Tag with this picture on it and he put it on his equipment bag he took with him to every game!)
I have loved them since I was a little girl.
I had brothers, we watched a lot of football!! ;)
Yes, I know...last year was a bad year. The year before wasn't that great either but I'm a fan for life and I will ALWAYS stand behind my team!! Good Season or Not So Good Season and even the bad seasons.
I will always love my Chiefs and this is why...
What you don't see when they are off the field is who they really are...they are dads, husbands, brothers, uncles, sons...
Not numbers on a jersey and positions on a team.
I'm going to share two special days with you in picture form. Today is day #1. Let me give you the background and then you will get to see the day rather than read about it.
Day #1 (this entry) happened in November of 2010...and the Chiefs made the playoffs that year.
I have only shared this with a handful of friends and never shown the world the pictures. We thought Braden was dying when this day happened and I've always kept it very private. I want to share it now so you understand WHY I love my Chiefs and the Cassels so much!!
This is one of our Top Ten Days EVER!
Lauren and Matt Cassel are truly two of the most kind, caring, genuinely sweet people I have ever met!
At some point, and honestly I don't even remember when, we came home and had a message from Lauren Cassel (the wife of Matt Cassel the KC Chiefs QB).
Not kidding.
She said she had stalked me to find our phone number. :) Her brother had been following us on Twitter and he told her about Braden.
She wanted to know if Braden wanted to meet a Chiefs player. I was stunned!! I said we would love to meet Matt and she said, "Noooo...really, any player he wants to meet!"
I assured her that we would love to meet Matt!
Well, Lauren and Matt moved Heaven and Earth and made something happen that I don't think happens very often.
Braden and Zach were invited to come out to the practice facility and play with "the guys".
Seriously!!
That facility is locked down like Fort Knox!!!
So the boys got to play with Matt Cassel, Jeremy (I so cannot recall his last name...he was receiver), and Tyler Palco (backup QB).
Tyler, unfortunately, made the mistake of telling Zach his sister called him "Ty Ty" when he was little...sooo...Zach still refers to him as "Ty Ty". LOL!
They played outside, they played inside, the went to the weight room....
and we had one of the most grand detours EVER!
(we even had a security guard with us at all times...seriously)! :)
Then they had pizza. Coach Haley asked them to call him when we went in to have pizza so he could come say hi again. I'll show you the first time we met him tomorrow.
What a dream!! What a story to tell generations to come.. "one day I got to go play with the Chiefs"
AMAZING!!
It was UNBELIEVABLE and it is one of the many reasons I am a Chiefs fan and specifically a Matt Cassel fan.
Braden was having a lot of pain because the cancer was still in his bones and it was hard for him to run for very long, but he had so much fun. He never cried or wimpered one time!
He just LAUGHED and GIGGLED and SMILED!!
And these pictures show why if you talk trash about my Chiefs or any member of the Chiefs, I will take you out!! LOL! Just look at the smiles on my son's faces and you will understand why!
These people are in my heart forever and they gave my sons something PRICELESS!!!
No one asked them to do this...they offered because they cared.
They are GOOD PEOPLE!!! And my heart hurt every time someone said something critical about any of them this year. Talk about football all you want, but please don't cut down the people!!
They are VERY special and they have brought a lot of love and joy into my sons lives...
and they have done even more for MANY kids after this through our foundation, not because the Chiefs told them they had to, but because they wanted to on their own time. Many players joined in and lent a hand...and they ROCK!!!
www.BradensHope.org
TAKE THAT cANCER!!!
PS..the formatting on the pictures isn't working well...I'm sure it's "operator error" so if you want to see a picture closer, just click on it and it should enlarge and you can flip through them. I highly recommend you do this because you can see the boys' faces much better! :)
These are pictures of Matt Cassel...
(I actually made Matt a Bag-Tag with this picture on it and he put it on his equipment bag he took with him to every game!)
This is Ty Ty :)
The Indoor Practice Field:
This is Jeremy:
The Weight Room:
Zach and Ty Ty had WAY too much fun together!! :) I think Ty Ty must have been a very ornery boy when he was little...he's still got that ornery bit to him and he and Zach hit it off!! :)
And this is when mom said, "Zach, PLEASE don't break the QB!" :)
Pizza Time with the gang and Coach:
GO CHIEFS!!!
2013 IS OUR YEAR!!!
And thank you Cassel Family!! We love you!!
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